Emely Abigail Lopez
This is my personal blog that concerns the events that unfold in my life. Stay tuned.
Those Final Moments
As my graduation approaches, I am giving much more attention and thought to the relationships in my life. On an emotional level, I can feel all of my friendships slip from under the rope my hand is trying to hold firmly. My feelings towards each person are changing and it is almost like they are becoming distant strangers. This is the worst case scenario. Worst case scenario because I do not know if it is truly happening or just a fragment of my imagination due to mere fear. Everyone around me is cherishing their last moments together, almost like they were arranged affairs since the beginning. I try to make my last memories with my close friends count, but all I can honestly think about is how immersed everyone is with the lie of staying in touch with one another after high school. I do not say this to be pessimistic and all the-glass-is-half-empty, but because it is mere reality. How many times have you bumped into an old friend or acquittance and set up times to meet up and catch up? Does it actually happen? Probably not. I suppose it is just to make the "bump-in" in the moment more sincere and memorable. This is not to say that all friendships and relationships are automatically doomed once both parties break part by going their own way, but it is human nature to lose contact with others when their presence and company is no longer viable in the way it used to be anymore. Even though I doubt that I will remain in contact with the people I grew up with in Irving, I should still attempt to maintain these relations. It is breaking me inside, but I know I must face reality in little bits as opposed to holding everything inside, only to fall apart later. Everything is becoming much more clear, but as to whether that is a good or bad thing, I don't know. I suppose that the thought of leaving everything that I know and have ever known in my life scares the living out of me, but I must go on. I have to see the world outside of Irving. I must meet new people, accumulate experiences, taste exotic foods, fall in love, fall out of love, go to plays, hike mountains, taste different pizzas, try different venues, buy vinyls, put myself in good company, smoke different brands of cigarettes, swim like a fish, and thrive where I truly belong. Although I have grown emotionally weary of my environment and the people in my environment, that does not mean that I was never engrossed in my surroundings. I will carry with me all of the experiences I have had in my life with me onto my journey. I can say that I am very excited to graduate from high school, move to Austin, and begin my studies at the University of Texas at Austin. My life is going to change in such a positive manner. I am in love with life even though my emotions do not tend to be in conjunction to what I should truly be feeling. For now, I am going to sit back and keep immersing myself into the beauties of life.