The Roman Conqueror

Rome's Official Newspaper

Commemorative Edition March 25, 49 A.D.

Caesar's Civil War

As we all know, just recently Gaius Julius Caesar stormed over the Rubicon River with his faithful army. However, this has brought our whole empire into civil war. Pompey and the rest of the senate brought this about by fearing Caesar's power and asking him to disband his army.

Since Caesar has been in Rome, he has already gotten to work. First, he set up a rump senate. Then, he established himself as dictator, so now he is in charge. Julius Caesar is currently practicing clemency. This means he refuses to execute anyone, nor confiscate any property.

Meanwhile, Pompey's legions have moved to Brundisium. They are currently sailing East. When Caesar first crossed over the Rubicon, they were in Spain. It is unknown what will happen next, but it is all we can do to hope that this civil war will not get too far out of hand.

Tragedies vs. Comedies

One of my favorite places in our whole Roman Empire is the theater. I especially enjoy going to the new permanent stone theater, erected by the elusive Pompey. Personally, I will watch any and all plays going on, but I find myself enjoying some more than others. In my opinion, comedies are the best plays in the theater.

Now tragedies are just that: tragic. They are very dramatic and when I look around at my fellow spectators, I see many of them crying. What good is that? Should a play not make you smile? What is to enjoy about a show that makes you sad and cry?

This is why I will vouch entirely for comedies! What is more fun than hearing our culture, religion, and politics be made fun of? I love to be aggravated to the point of humiliation by realizing that what is said of our daily lives is true. And the best part of comedies? They make you laugh and smile! This leaves you in a better mood all day!


Wanted: We have just opened a new bakery, Heart of Vesuvius, and we need several people to help out. By we, I mean my wife and I. We reside in the city of Pompeii, but will accept anyone willing to travel to work.

The first person we need is an assistant baker or baker in training. My wife and I will not be around forever, so we know we must train an apprentice to eventually take our place. This person must have basic knowledge of bread baking and be comfortable working around hot ovens all day.

The second helper needed is a sweeper. As a bakery, our floors get covered in crumbs and extra flour. Someone is greatly needed who will be able to clean the floors throughout the day and at closing time especially. This person also needs to be able to clean ovens and counters.

Restaurant Review

The Pear Patina

5 out of 5 stars

The Pear Patina gourmet restaurant is one of the best I have ever been to. Such simple foods, yet cooked so exquisitely. One of the finest dishes at this restaurant was its namesake: the pear pantina. It was neither sweet nor bitter. It was the absolute perfect consistency and a very smooth custard.

Also served at the Pear Patina were stuffed kidneys. The lamb's kidneys were cooked to perfection, and seasoned extremely well. The meat was not dry at all. The kidneys were perfectly sealed by the sausage skin.

The simple dessert, libum, was absolutely splendid. The honey was quite runny and liquidy and gave it the perfect sweetness. It was a decent consistency. It was also risen to the optimal height. All in all, I would suggest this restaurant to anyone and everyone.


This article is in honor of all the lives lost during the rebellion of Spartacus and in hopes that through our current civil war, it will never happen again. Spartacus was freeborn in the province of Thrace. There he served as an auxiliary in the Roman army in Macedonia. However, he deserted the army, was outlawed, captured, and then sold into slavery. He was then trained at the gladiatorial school of Batiatus in Capua.

In 73 BCE he escaped with about 75 other gladiators, stealing kitchen knives along the way. In the next year, Spartacus raised about 70,000 slaves, mostly from rural areas. After defeating Lentulus and Publicola, Spartacus made his 300 prisoners fight each other to the death.

At the height of his revolt, Spartacus had 120,000 followers. However, in 71 BC, everything began to fall apart. The slaves had one final minor victory before 6,000 slaves were taken prisoner and crucified. Spartacus died in the battle and was never found amidst the shocking amount of bodies.

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