Beautiful Brown Bear Can't Bear It

Written By Srijan Sharma in Period 4

Brownie Is Nice And Warm And Has Fur And Has 4 Legs and Scares Humans

Hello, my name is Brown-ee (also spelled Brownee and Brownie) Jupiter. I am a brown bear looking for fish. Not to eat though, I am looking for fish to talk to and have kids with. I am the CEO of this major bear company called Bears are Awesome Inc.. I'm really nice and furry, so feel free to touch and "pet" me anytime you'd like. Even though the rest of my species gives live birth, I think it would be amazing if I could mate with someone that could lay eggs. Women tell me I'm really smart and that I'm warm and kind, but I suppose that may be because I am endothermic, which means that I am warm-blooded. I also have many sources of milk that I can get to help raise our children better. All types of milk. Seriously. No joke. I also have four legs and can walk very quickly on land as well as swim in water very quickly. In fact, I won four gold medals in the International Bear Olympics in swimming.

You Are Attractive And Intelligent And Our Kids Would Rule and Your Gills Are Amazing

You're really fish. Attactive and Intelligent. Fish. You're ectothermic, meaning you're nice and cold inside. Our kids will be balanced between warm and cold and be perfect. They will also be millions of them, all born in soft tiny eggs. It will be awesome. They will be protected by me and all of them will live. Once they grow older. They will be their own species. They can take over Bears are Awesome Incorporated. They will be able to live in the water. They will have gills and will be able to breathe underwater. They will also be big and huge, so they can eat many kinds of fish. If they don't want to eat fish, they can go on land and eat land animals. This will all be because of you. I love gills and fins. I wish I could have them. Unfortunately, I don't, so I want to meet someone who does have gills and fins.

Bears Are Awesome Incorporated

CEO: Brownee Jupiter

Founders: Norman Jupiter, Black Jupiter

Headquarters: Fort Bear, Bear Territory

Revenue: 130 trillion BRM (Bear Money 2016)

Phone Number: BRI-GHT-BEAR