GREEK REVIVAL FRATERNITY BATHHOUSE

$999,999

50,000 SQ FEET OF LOFTY ATHENIAN BROSHIP CRIBZONE

Are you tired of living in some backwash contemporary ranch slabtop in Nebraska? Take a shuffle out of your polyester carpet and take a look at this glorious 300 C.E. high-class(ical) paradise of pure marble extravagance. You and the other members of Kaapa Kaapa Psi will collectively punch their grandmas blow dryer when they take a simple gander. Let me show you around, broski.
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KINGS WILL WISH TO LIVE LIKE YOU

Interior Savagery

Socrates would be proud of your newfound abode. Rivaling the epic courts of the day, your sparkly traditional frathouse takes a slice of the sweet origin of Western culture into your hands. But that's not all. This baby's got a lot to offer.


  • 4 hot spring baths crafted with white marble and gold leaf
  • olympic-sized basketball court with LeBron James and Steph Curry signed goals
  • 300 sq ft kitchen with LITERAL island (boats not included)
  • Don't wanna take the stairs? We got a 40 ft waterslide ready to escort you.
  • quaint view of the forest countryside from balcony
ARE YOU PUNCHING THAT BLOW DRYER YET

IF YOU'VE THROWN UP FROM AMAZEMENT BY READING THIS, CONTACT US BELOW

Squad Ball Fam (A Family Company)

Purveyors of squad ballings since 2015