A HUMAN'S guide to Bunburying

As told FABULOUSLY by Yakira Rupenthal

Developing your alias

To develop a successful double life, one must develop a strong alias. Don't choose anything too crazy. Pick a watered down, name such as Jake Wellington or Mary Jones. Nobody will question a name like that. You should have a different wardrobe for your second life. You should probably where glasses or something that slightly changes the shape of your face to make it even more difficult for people to recognize you. Superman has a terrible disguise, and any normal person would be able to recognize that Clark Kent is Superman.
You will need a few things to be a successful Bunbury in today's society. You will need a second phoneline, a second e-mail, and if you plan on having parties or something, you might want to invest in a second house or apartment.
Big image

Problems

THere are a few problems you may encounter while bunburying.


1. Your two separate lives collide

2. You become famous

3. You cure cancer

4. You go to prison


These problems can be very serious, but all can be solved easily.


Your separate lives colliding is probably the worst problem that could happen. Be sure to keep your separate lives as far away as possible. In fact, if you say you're on a business trip, it makes deceiving people even easier.


If you somehow manage to become famous, WELL BY GOLLY GREAT JOB SONNY, YOU'RE ONE IN A MILLION. Becoming famous is also a very bad idea. Your family could be a bunch of gold digging douchenozzles, and try to stay with you because of your newfound fortune. They could also try to kill you for lying about your identity. So just keep a calm watered- dwoen lifestyle.


If you cure cancer, well, nobody should be mad at you, so. umm. yeah...


Really? Do I even have to explain why you shouldn't go to prison? Just be a good law abiding citizen.

When all else fails

When all else fails you should be completely honest, and get ready to be yelled at because you have just caused your family(ies) a lot of emotional trauma and(or) heartbreak. If things go ballistic, you should have some way to defend yourself. Or you could run away to a foreign country and start a new life.