The Counseling Connect
December Newsletter
Happy Holidays!
CHADS Coalition Visitng 6th Grade Classrooms- Topic: Bullying and Cyberbullying
Our 6th grade counselor, Mrs. Patton is having the CHADS coalition speak to 6th grade students on Dec. 3 and 11 during their PE/Health classes. The topic is Bullying and Cyberbullying: Plan, Prevention, Response and Making a Difference. The presentation explores bullying in general. Bullying is when one person acts like they have more power over another and does whatever they can to hurt that person. This, plus other topics like 'what is cyberbullying?' and 'how can I stay safe?' will be discussed. Information on these presentations are on the CHADS website: https://www.chadscoalition.org/presentation-descriptions
The Chads Coalition website main page: https://www.chadscoalition.org/
The Power of Introverts
We live in a society where outgoing more extroverted individuals are more valued in school settings and in the work place. Frequently, students are put down for their quiet nature which can have negative consequences in regards to their confidence and self-esteem. However, research shows that 1/3 to a half of the population are introverts and introverts have proven to achieve better grades in the classroom. Some amazing qualities of an introverted student may be that they have a small group of friends that they prefer to get to know really well, are very reflective, observant and are great listeners. I would encourage parents to talk with their student to make sure that there isn't any underlying emotional health concerns regarding their quiet nature, but to also encourage them to be themselves by using positive praise and pointing out things that they do well. The more positive and encouraging we are towards are introverted kiddos, the better their outlook on themselves will be.
You also may feel you have a shy student and being shy is very different then being introverted. Introversion is about how we take in stimuli. Introverted people get easily drained when in social interactions but feel charged when they are given moments to be alone. In comparison, extroverts feel more charged when in social interactions but then feel more drained when alone. Giving your child a space to "recharge" no matter if they are introverted or extroverted will be important in promoting healthy mental health. Shyness however is about having anxiety and a sense of fear when in social situations. For example, a person can be introverted but not shy. You will most likely see these types of people attending and flourishing in social gatherings, but may need a couple days to "recharge" by spending some time alone.
You can view the video below by Susan Cain, titled: The Power of Introverts, to help your teen have a better sense of who they are and to promote feelings of empowerment and belonging. Also, please see more below on how you can help your quiet teen speak up in class, also by Susan Cain.
How to Help Your Teen Speak Up In Class By Susan Cain
1. The key to extinguishing any and all fears is to do it in small steps, with small victories along the way — sometimes VERY small steps. Maybe you can set small goals with Sophie: today I will raise my hand once…today I will ask one question…that kind of thing. And celebrate madly each time, when she pulls it off.
2. You can practice with Sophie, and role play what she might say and what it would sound like.
3. Can you partner with the teacher by letting her know what subjects Sophie is especially interested in? Then, the teacher could talk to her about those subjects privately and compliment on her knowledge or interest, and ask Sophie if she could call on her with one question about that topic during class.
4. If you’re comfortable with the teacher, you could suggest a think-pair-share method — this is a great teaching tool for ALL kids, and especially for kids like Sophie. The teacher asks a question; the students think about it to themselves; the teacher pairs the students up, and the pairs discuss the question together. Then, the teacher invites the pairs to share with the class, if they’re so inclined. This technique keeps all kids engaged, but especially helps the Sophies of the world to practice articulating their thoughts out loud.
5. If there’s a particular classmate Sophie would like to get to know, but hasn’t yet, you could let the teacher know and ask that Sophie be paired with that classmate for various activities, in order to foster the friendship.
I hope this helps!
Study Skills That Work- Video
Hints For Homework
Maddy has her evening planned. She'll do her math homework before dinner, then follow up dessert with Language Arts and Science. Afterward, she can unwind from a busy day. Sound impossible? It's not. Help your teen make homework go like clockwork with these strategies:
Think it through
Before your teen begins, have her make a to-do list. Example: Write a poem, finish history DBQ, complete 2 Mathia's. Then, suggest that she number the tasks, from toughest to easiest, and start with the hard stuff. This "save the easiest for last" strategy will help her finish on a high night, perhaps inspiring her to get in some extra studying.
Think about time
Ask your child to consider different time slots she can use to get work done. For instance, maybe she could set aside a weekend morning or Sunday night. Also, some teens have time during GPS, lunch or before school to tackle homework. Encourage hour child to complete one assignment at school each day. The more she does then, the more time she'll have for fun later. 9th hour is also available to students Tuesdays, Wednesday and Thursdays until 3:40pm. Look for the "Wildcat Weekly" on the school website to see what classroom 9th hour is being held on each of these days. 9th hour is a period after school where students can spend time doing homework or catching up on assignments. Its great because students are already at school and keeps the momentum going in completing tasks. Some students may struggle with starting on homework while at home, but attending 9th hour can help with that.
Think positive
Help your teen see homework as a chance to prove her independence by getting her work done on time and doing it be herself. Boost her confidence by telling her, "Homework gives you a chance to show all that you know." And give her a thumbs-up when she does just that.
Keep Electronics in Check
Conquer Negative Thinking by Mary Karapetian Alvord and Anne McGrath
The following list contains the 9 most common negative thinking habits that teens may exhibit. Use this list to talk with your teen about their thinking habits and ways to help. Strategies listed at the end are based in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
1- The "I can't!" habit. You automatically conclude that you're not capable of meeting a new challenge or solving a tough problem, which often makes you give up before you even try and leaves you feeling anxious and sad.
2- The Catastrophizing habit. You expect disaster and think What if...? whenever you're faced with uncertainty, and you spend a lot of energy feeling needlessly panicky and anxious.
3- The all-or-nothing habit. You see life in extremes. For example, if your performance isn't perfect, it's a total failure. Or any event that doesn't happen one "right" way is all wrong. This makes you feel down on yourself or upset and irritated with others.
4- The zooming-in-on-the-negative habit. You get stuck thinking over and over about your disappointing or embarrassing experiences and filter out everything positive or even just neutral that also happened. Blowing the negative moments way out of proportion results in pessimism about the present and future.
5- The "I should, you should" habit. You hold yourself or other people to a set of rigid and unreasonable rules. When your expectations are not met, you feel disappointed in yourself or frustrated with others.
6- The fortune-telling habit. You jump to the conclusion that you're cetainly going to mess up or that a future event will be a disappointment. You tend to either get really down on yourself and feel unmotivated and depressed, or feel cheated and resentful.
7- The mind-reading habit. You jump to the conclusion that someone else is thinking about you and that the thought is critical. This makes you feel unsure of yourself and anxious.
8- The blaming habit. You either think, It's all my fault! and feel guilty or It's all his fault! and feel angry and resentful
9- The "it's not fair!" habit. You get upset when you feel that you've been unjustly treated, even though fairness is an unrealistic expectation.
Some strategies to help combat these negative though patterns are to ask yourself:
- what is the evidence that I can't do it?
- What steps can I take to tackle the problem?
- What steps have I taken in the past to learn new skills or tackle other problems?
- Is it possible to ask someone for help?
- How likely is the worst case scenario?
- Is there evidence that it's apt to happen?
- If something bad does happen, how would I cope?
- What would I tell friend who had the same thought?
- Am I focusing too much on one detail?
- What good things happened that I'm forgetting?
- How often am I right when I jump to the conclusion that something bad will happen?