Empathic Listening
Rachel Pufall
Source
Core Belief
"In Charge" means
2. You also recognize that you're on the hook for figuring out what's getting in the way, and your child is likely to be your best source of information.
3. You're skilled at working together with your child to help them solve their problems.
Three Ingredients to Plan B
- Involves gather information from you child to understand their perspective, concern, or point of view on an unsolved problem.
2. The Define-Adult-Concerns Step
- Involves communicating your concern, perspective, or point of view on the same problem.
3. The Invitation Step
- When you and your child discuss and agree on a solution that (a) is realistic, meaning both of you can actually do what you're agreeing to do, and (b) will address the concern of both parties.
Only Focusing on Number 1 Today
The Empathy Step
Drilling Strategies-Getting and Keeping Your Child Talking
Strategy 2 - Ask "W" questions: Who, what, where, when....be careful with why
Strategy 3 - Ask about situational variability of the unsolved problem
Strategy 4 - Ask child what they are thinking in the midst of the unsolved problem - not what they're feeling
Strategy 5 - Break unsolved problem down into it's component parts
Strategy 6 - Make a discrepant observation - riskiest strategy
Strategy 7 - Table and ask for more concerns
Strategy 8 - Summarize and ask for more concerns