Week 10: Wiener

Wiener wiener

For you GoT fans, this will describe the Dish title

South Park Game of Thrones Wiener song
Here's a seksi little blurb about Milan Lucic in Vancouver over the weekend, courtesy of Pete. Substitute Mike Saksen for that little white guy, and ten Mexicans for Milan Lucic, and you have our Sharks game extravaganza last spring (minus the Irish Tooth Fairy....pic?)

Here's the Sharks holiday video, since I know Pat and Ryan have been eagerly anticipating it :) Look for Pete in the beginning.

Lines of the Night

Monday: Joan Smoothers: 3g, 1a, -6, 2pim, 2ppp, 21sog, 24fw, 12hit, 7blk

Tuesday: Hot Ice Beast: 4g, 5, -9, 8pim, 6ppp, 30sog, 31fw, 17hit, 12blk, 1.85gaa, 26sv, .929sv%

Wednesday: Joan Smoothers: 3g, 4a, +0, 2pim, 2ppp, 13sog, 12fw, 7hit, 8blk, 2.03gaa, 57sv, .934sv%

Thursday: THAT IS NOT AN ELBOW: 2g, 6a, +1, 6pim, 3ppp, 40sog, 29fw, 16hit, 11blk, 0.96gaa, 49sv, .961sv%

Friday: Cat Pasey: 2g, -1, 2pim, 11sog, 2fw, 11hit, 5blk

Saturday: Zamboners: 5g, 9a, +7, 7pim, 4ppp, 27sog, 11fw, 9hit, 18blk

Sunday: NeonDion PewpMachine: 1g, 5a, -1, 2pim, 1ppp, 21sog, 31fw, 13hit, 5blk

Week 10 Matchups

Puuuussssyyyy ;-) (ELBOWs 7, Droplets 4):

It was truly surprising how little concerned I was about this matchup all week long ;) But Ryan you're still the cutest ;) The only thing sillier than my adding Grabovski on Sunday when he got scratched for the flu was Ryan's adding Dubnyk after Bryzgalov was confirmed in net - good work RyLu ;-p Goalies butt fucked Ryan all week, and I was fortunate enough to have some solid starts from my rotation of streamers.

Shut up Brian (Joan 8, Beast 5):

Brian overtook Mike will a classic two-fingered butt spelunking this week, and my favorite part was obviously when Mike shut up.

Things I don't like about Brian's team:

  1. Still creepin on the ELBOWs in the standings
  2. Ratboi Perry is on it
  3. He still hasn't traded me Evander Kane for Wayne Simmonds

Shut up Mike

Charlie still comin for those playoffs ;-) (Bonerz 7, Cats 4):

As predicted, Brown snuggled into his default missionary position and let Charlie pump away for the victory, thus claiming the Golden Apron in Round 2 of their matchup series. Lundqvist continues to struggle for the Kat, as is tradition for the Meows until they make playoffs of course. When Charlie wasn't busy cultivating his herb garden, he was makin moves on the offensive front. That came in handy for the 1-sog edge over autopilot Brown (who only used three moves). Matt - less time dressing Joey up as an elf, more time being better.

Same dumb team name, different result (Dead 8, Neon 3):

And all of a sudden Austin comes out to play. With his first win in 7 games, Austin was able to cram a butt plug in the surging PewpMachine. Austin edged out Pete in both sog and saves, and even snuck in a late nacht Sunday shutout to remind Pete that d00dz aren't free.

You know what's funny? Austin lost five straight games and tied one, and is still five spots ahead of Charlie ;p

Pat confiscates Chris's Raisin Bran; Chris angry (Pasey 7, Frenzy 5):

Any week Chris's goalies collapse is a bad week for the Frenzy. Pat narrowly squeaked out the goalie stats thanks to Martin Jones (course) and Brian Elliott. Not a whole lot of help from Cam Ward, but that didn't matter with Chris's mediocre starts from Rask and that Russian wife beater. Also, Henrik Sedin with 8pim?? Oh dear.

Week 10 Awards

Goalies Best: THAT IS NOT AN ELBOW, Zamboners, The Malkin-g Dead, Cat Pasey

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades: Fiber Frenzy

Tight BuTThole: Cat Pasey

Desk Pop: The Malkin-g Dead

Domesticated: Every once in a while it's nice to change things up, and seeing as Matt, and especially Charlie, are really running away with this award, I figured I would shake it up. That's why this week I'm giving the DA to none other than THE COMMISSIONER HIMSELF WASSSSUUUUPPPPPPPP!?!?!?!?! Sometimes you just gotta go ice skating in SF, and maybe get some clam chowder in bread bowls. GOOD FOR YOU, COMMISH!!!!!!!!!! ;D

Week 11 Predictions

Hot ELBOWs: Just like my matchup against that idiot Pat Casey, I have a pretty bad feeling about this week. Mike seems to have a significantly larger number of players going day to day, and my goalie situation is proper fucked. Beast 8, ELBOWs 4

Cat Droplets: Pat and Ryan will likely be smoking themselves silly and will be too high to notice what's going on. This is what will happen: Ryan's goalies will caper his butt again (oops already happening), and Pat will win out enough secondary categories to take the dub. Pasey 8, Droplets 4

Joan's Meow: Matt is clearly still reeling from the fantasy football shame spiral, and will continue to do so until he gets his name on the Cat Peen one year after winning it all. Joan 7, Meows 5

Malkin-g Boners: Mmmm an epic dumpster clash, where one team is now 'trying,' and another is 'technically part of this league'. Charlie will continue his playoff pipe dream while shopping for his and hers oven mitts. Zamz 7, Dead 5

Fiber Machine: Like their on-the-bench acrimony, nobody wins. Frenzy 6, PewpMachine 6

Don't forget to go fuck yourselves,