What makes me tick?

Personality, Emotions, and Social/ Emotional Intelligence

2nd Period Psychology

Written by Brittany Woodward
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My Personality

Throughout my life, which is very much, I can describe my personality in different ways from preschool to present day. New places, new people, new day, new life. I feel like with every year that goes by my personality is tweaked. However, through every phase or change the core of my personality and temperament has been constant. I attribute components of my personality to most my nurture, but I can see the impact of nature as well.

Growing up with a family that is split half-n-half with that introversion and extroversion I would classify myself a an introversion with little characteristics of an extrovert. As a little girl I can recall being the quiet student that cried when I was dropped off at daycare the first time. I remember sitting in the corner playing by myself because she was scared that she wouldn't make any friends. I did want to be the one to open my social circle, the one I had was big enough. My mother is also reserved in her nature and found that the quiet alone time with her and her close family was all she needed to be her happiest. My father on the other hand is completely opposite, he is outgoing and finds his happiness in socializing with a group of people, not at home reading a book. As I reached high school, I can see that having parents that are both so different was a bad thing, but to my advantage because I can know handle myself in either situation and find happiness within both. I can sit in my bedroom and read a book or I can be with a group of friends and still thrive in either environment.

Although I believe I am inherently introverted (mother), I have learned through my nurture and my experiences watching my dad growing up I have learned that in some situations my introversion wouldn't be ideal, but extroversion would. I have learned to demonstrate more outgoing characteristics so that I can better establish myself in varying positions, such as work, school, and home. My personality has also shown me that with the amount of time in a day and the amount of work I have to complete I must be on top of my game every second, every minute, every hour of the day to be the best I can be. My parent would describe me as a child that was and still is a very organized person, but I feel that I have to be to reach the top of every mountain that wants me to change my goals. Experiences from the time I walked into my first classroom to the first job to what happens everyday my personality doesn't change dramatically, yet small changes are made that shape who I am for the rest of my life.
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My Emotions

My personality goes hand-in-hand with my emotions; I don’t like to express myself and be out in the open with how I feel. I understand that everyone has emotions, even if they don’t express them aloud. We all feel happiness, anger, frustration and sadness. No two people share their emotions exactly the same because we all grew up a way that models how we are meant to handle emotions and how to express them. For some this could be pulling others into the emotion they feel because they don’t want to be the only ones acting this way; while others acts as an emotional rollercoaster and react different within the same situation.

Reviewing over how I express my emotions just in the last week, I can see that I fit into neither of these “categories” of regulating my emotions. I bottle up and withdrawing myself from the normal activities I would usually be active in. I understand how this could be effecting not only my life but others around me because of how they transfer to other emotions and behavior. Even though I regularly express joyful and relaxing emotions when I get in a foul mood I don’t express them in a good manner some of the times. Growing up in a house where you weren't encouraged to speak about your emotions when I was feeling out of it or just didn't have the best day; I feel like it has shaped me to be the person that only express that happy, bubble emotion and never what I truly feel sometimes.

Being a current junior in high school I am now able to recognize that I get walked on because I don’t express those feelings and emotions aloud. Soccer is a prime example when I get pushed to the side and don’t get taken into consideration. High school soccer is the one place that is dominate in demonstrating that I have no control in. I am walked over every practice every game by both the coaches and some players. I know I need to stand-up for myself but I struggle doing this so I just let it sink inside me and them I just complain or ignore the emotions that I experience. If I could change one thing from my high school life would be to stand-up for myself within soccer to make it more enjoyable, instead of something I do just to prove a point.
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My Social/Emotional Intelligence

Nature and Nurture both has played a role in determining my social and emotional intelligence. Having my parent always express the importance of understanding others and taking their perspective/feelings into consideration. I believe that this has created a core value reflecting on emotional and social intelligence as I started to have more life experiences that impacted my life. I consider myself to be on a moderate emotional intelligence level because I can judge others reactions, yet I still am growing on what I present myself to others as. Neither of my parents are very loud or aggressive in their expressions of their emotions. My mother was always calm and relaxed no matter what was happening around her. I believe that seeing this as I grew up modeled behavior that set an examples of how I could be as an adult. As a teenager I am calm during somethings, but others I am completely stressed and freak out about some things. I believe that this is the nature that has created the stressed and freaked out version of me when I am placed in certain environments.

Regulating emotions isn't my within one of my strengths, but I wouldn't say it would be a weakness either. I regulate emotions by trying to think positive and calmly to help create a better situation than what is occurring. Due to my ability to remain calm, I am able to notice body language, facial expressions, and sometimes tone. Noticing theses I can determine how I need to react to certain people in certain situations. One of the emotional intelligence aspects is reacting to people and that is the one of the things that I am good at, it is expressing the correct emotions that isn't as strong as it needs to be. This may be very important is circumstances such as a job interview. which is why I am working on making this stronger.

This will be an area that I will need to continue to grow and work on as I progress in my social and emotional development. I know that I have weaknesses now and I will grow out of them, but I am aware that more will appear and I will have to work to make those a strong aspect of my emotional and social intelligence. The only way that I can be the best I can be is to strive to become the best and accept that it isn’t going to come without some effort and work.

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The Importance of Understanding Myself, My Emotions, and My Social/ Emotion Intelligence

Before I had an understanding of what emotional and social intelligence was and why it was so important to have good control over it, my personality and emotions seemed like I was forced to just live with what I was that day. In spite of the experiences I have learned and the educations I have received thus far, my knowledge of what make me me has grow from just I was born this way to I made this way through many events and with some effort I can change. Increasing the knowledge of my personality, emotions, and social/emotional intelligence I have become a better person just learning and understanding the science behind it all. I am not stuck with the person that I am now, this is just stepping stones to be the best person that I can be. Ultimately I decide how much I let my emotions, who my personality attracts, and what I do to become better. Without an awareness of exactly how to do this, I would be lost for a long time before I figured it out on my own.

Now understanding that while all people have emotions there are numerous ways to recognize the trigger that created those emotions and how I can respond to them without creating something bigger. Interpreting my emotions, my self awareness has increased, overall, in knowing what makes me feel the way I do in situations. My emotional intelligence has been improved by this because I can handle difficult situations easier. Some people let their emotions affect their day and others, but have the understanding of why is have these feelings and how I can control/regulate them my life has been more successful. Maya Angelou once said “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

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