The Mesopotamian Post

We Cover Babylon, Assyria, Sumer, and everything in between

The Chariot is Invented

The invention of the wheel led to the new, useful, speedy chariot. Merchant, Lalakukoo Umaha, turned the simple pottery wheel sideways into a mode of transportation. Lalakukoo proposed this innovative idea to King Hammurabi. The king claimed that this invention would change warfare for years to come. As a result, the king had his slaves create a so called "chariot." Together, the men collaborated and decided this cart would be horse drawn. Below, the image shows a servant trying this invention out. Hopefully it is successful and is used in battle all through Mesopotamia.

A New Recipe...Call to All Women!

Here is the secret mixture used by Krazy Kuisine for a Mesopotamian flatbread.


14 oz of flour

1 cups water

1/2 tsp of salt


1. Mix the water, flour, and salt together slowly.

2. Knead the dough and form it into flat round patties.

3. Cover the dough with a cloth and let it sit overnight.

4. The next day, bake it in a fire oven for 30 minutes.

5. As an optional topping for this tasty treat, add raisins or other dried fruit, nuts, spices, or honey.

6. Eat this delectable bread… ENJOY!!!

We Remember Barbooba Suzuki

Recently, Persian merchant and commoner, Barbuooba Suzuki passed away after being attacked by bandits. He was on a trip, trading with the Babylonians when the Assyrians raided his cart, stealing all of his corn and wheat. Unexpectedly, Suzuki tried to resist even though the Assyrians were armed. Barbooba was found bleeding to death on the side of the river by Alfred Zealonthan. Suzuki was rushed to the priests, but by then, it was too late. Barbooba Suzuki died 23 years after the birth of the son of King Nebuchadnezzar and will will be remembered dearly by all citizens of Persia. He was buried with just a few possessions such as: his horse saddle, his coat, and some food.

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Chop, Chop, Chop Away!

Attention all slave owners... I am a barber who has practiced this service for twenty years. If you bring this ad in when you bring your slaves, you can get one free haircut!


Crime Committed

Hammurabi's Laws Violated

One of Hammurabi's Laws states, “If fire break out in a house, and some one who comes to put it out cast his eye upon the property of the owner of the house, and take the property of the master of the house, he shall be thrown into that self-same fire.”

Yesterday, Kunha Bahooka, a fireman, violated this law of Hammurabi. After a fire broke out in Alfonzo Cucu’s house, he rushed to the scene and attempted to put out the fire, but was spotted leaving the house with his neighbor’s most prized possession: his vintage, one-of-a-kind rubber duck. Servants of King Hammurabi seized Bahooka his ears and threw him into the fire. The fire was eventually put out and Cucu’s possession was returned to him.

Education, Required...

ALL Boys

All boys are now required to attend school to become a scribe. The best school in Mesopotamia is in your reach. We, the temple and Priest Quanda Eepe, invite you to join us to visit our school. It is along the Euphrates River. A limited amount of students are allowed to attend. So contact us now... Mesopotamia School For Boys.

Krazy Kuisene

Are you not able to gather the materials to make a flatbread? Well, come visit us to try one now!

Today's Weather Forecast...

Brought to You by MesoBug

Today’s weather is sunny with a small chance of precipitation with winds out of the northwest blowing at eight miles per hour. Today the sun rose earlier than usual. There were also red skies this morning, which signals that a storm will be coming in the near future to be followed by a cold front.

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King Hammurabi is Coming to Town!

Recently, we have been told that King Hammurabi is communicating with Babylon. All rich families that have received invitations are invited. All attending must create their best dishes for the king. More information will be told in the invite. Also, come with ideas of ways to improve life in Babylon.

Mesopotamian Bucket List

The Mesopotamian Post recently interviewed a local citizen of Assyria. We asked him what his top ten things to do would be.

1. Read Hammurabi’s Code

2. Go Back in History and Eat with King Nebuchadnezzar

3. Ride in a Chariot

4. Sprint up a Ziggurat

5. Walk under the Babylonian Arch

6. Have a Scribe Write Something for You

7. Visit the Hanging Gardens

8. Sleep in a Ziggurat

9. Be Healed by a Priest

10. Learn Cuneiform

He prefers not to have his name mentioned.

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Work Hard, Plough Hard, and Farm Hard

Attention famers and your slaves… Tomorrow I will be teaching a workshop for farming, crops, and agriculture. Come visit the largest farm in Northern Mesopotamia, The Big Red Barn. Bring your slaves to train them to work hard, plough hard, and farm hard.

-Mishel Kuak

Daily Life in Mesopotamia

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