Obesity satire

By: Austin Intharaphet & Ryan Mickelson

The Problem

The problem we want to reform is people being skinny. Not enough people are obese. Being skinny is a huge problem because every girl and guy who see's the "perfect" image on T.V. ends up going to the extreme in order to achieve that. Girls more than guys, but guys do as well. They tend to spend hours on end at the gym while taking countless amount of performance enhancing supplements which is ridiculous. First of all they cost a fortune and they should be spending it on fast food to become obese. Not to mention those have no health benefits , where as a Big Mac you can get carbs and fats. Girls on the other hand spend time eating a ton then throwing up and are diagnosed with anorexia . Instead of throwing that up they should hold it down and keep eating more. Not to mention when everyone is obese everyone will be happy.

The Proposal/ The Solution

All of the Obese people are going to force feed junk food to all of the skinny people, if they don't become obese by themselves. Not just a little amount either were talking thousands of pounds of doughnuts , cookies, fried chicken, pop, ice cream, lard, chips, twinkies etc. If they don't cooperate they will get eaten by the obese people. This solves the problem in two ways, everybody is either obese or there are no more skinny people because the obese people ate them.

The plan

By force feeding skinny people tons of junk food it will make them obese rapidly, which is what we want. If they don't comply they get eaten therefore eliminating skinny people, When you consume large amounts of fat and calories without burning any off, you tend to pack on the pounds rapidly. Junk food will be donated by all fast food and junk food companies so ensure that the skinny people become obese all of this is free of charge. There making a change in the world by making everybody the same. To enforce you will be forced to be 230 lbs if you are a woman, and 300 lbs if you are a man, this is the minimal obese weight for genders. If you don't meet this you will be forced to eat more junk food until you meet the obese weight.

The Advantages

There are many advantages to being obese. Everyone will be the same as far as far as being fat. No one will be starving therefore you don't have to spend money on the commercials, and that money can go to more junk food. Being fat will be in style. Everybody confidence will rise seeing how there is no pressure to be skinny. You won't be unfortunate and skinny anymore, like all of the stupid skinny people are now. For environmental benefits all of your fats and rolls will benefit you to being warm in the winter. Social benefits are good to because you won't have to be scared to be a certain size to talk to or fit in with people. Buying more junk food will help the economy by putting more money into all of the junk food companies. Therefore saving money by not buying organic food, because its pointless and unhealthy.

The Expedients

So some advantages are free gym memberships? ha yeah like that will actually do something, just let fat people be fat. Also what is this nonsense you talk about saying we should get eat healthy and get rid of junk food? that is just crazy this world needs to have junk food. It just taste like heaven. You have the choice between a nice chocolate doughnut or a stick of celery. Yeah i thought so! your definitely going to chose that nice doughnut. Who needs to eat healthy now a days we need to pack on the rolls. We can all be like our idol fat bastard, and tell everything to "Get in my belly!"

Conclusion

Everyone in the world will weigh millions of pounds, and commercials won't have to spend all of that money advertising starving children commercials, instead all of the non obese people will be in need of junk food. Along with that all of the money that would normally be spent on the commercials, that money could be going towards more junk food. Also there will be no "perfect" image that everyone speaks of, because the more obese you are the better right? Lastly the overall purpose of this is to eliminate all of the skinny people, and make the world round.(Punch line) "Round as in meaning fat and rolls."