Enroll at Pencey now!

Actually you are probably better off if you don't.

Pencey prep is filled with phonies!

Since 1888 we mold the boys to become incredible Jerks. You might think we teach them to be gentlemen but really we are lying to you. The young men in public seem very polite but we can assure you that they aren't!

Weird Alumni

The Men that graduate creepily want to come back! They are practically mirror images of the kids at school. So you can imagine how awful the students grow up to be. The guy in the picture below will never leave! Do you really want your kid hanging with him?
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Most of the bathrooms and rooms are very gross and crawling with germs! The kids don't care and frankly neither do we! I'm almost positive that it makes getting sick a lot easier! So if you want your kid to be a slob enroll your son here!

The food is awful!

You might think that steak on Saturdays is great and all but it's just a show for you parents and your sons to lure you in. The steak isn't even good it's dry as hell! On days other than Saturdays they might as well give us nothing! I think they give us manure I'm not even joking! BEWARE! I'm sure this is another health issue!