Pencey Prep

Where young men enter as troubled, and leave troubled

100% of our community is afluent

- According to their advertisements, Pencey will teach you how to ride a horse, yet there has never been a horse on Pencey grounds.

- One semester at Pencey Prep nearly costs 35,000 dollars a year, which probably won't matter to you because you are use to blowing your lousy money on phony country club memberships.


- We have 2-person dormitories.

- Your child will most likely have a roommate, that will most likely annoy the hell out of him.

- Your child's roomate will most likely never leave your child alone, and will continue to bug him, even though he has been told a countless amount of times to go away even when you are trying to read, your child's roomate will also most likely be humorless bastards.


- At Pencey, just one of the terrible meals that are served here is a "steak" with lumpy mashed potatoes. The "steaks" at Pencey are practically made out of plastic, that the students ego's couldn't cut through it.

More false advertising

- According to the advertisements, your child will have a very strong relationship with his peers. When really, they will just spend most of their time going back and forth, arguing about whose dad's Caddilac is the rarest, that's really the only time you'll see Pencey kids communicating, other than that they'll just spend time with themselves, looking at themselves in the mirror, until their faces are practically traced into the damn things.

I remember looking in the mirror, seeing this.

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