A Recipe to Save the Nation
"An Army Marches on its Stomach"
The American Civil War
- 1/2 cup Union North
- 1/2 cup Confederate South
- 1 tablespoon Abraham Lincoln
- 4 Cans of Fort Sumter
- 1 tablespoon Industry
- 1 tablespoon Farming
- 5 Pounds Fresh Slavery
- 620,000 Chopped Lives
- 375,000 Sliced Injuries
- 1 teaspoon Jefferson Davis
- 1 teaspoon Robert E. Lee
- 1 teaspoon Ulysses S. Grant
- Gettysburg Address seasoning
- Crushed Robert E. Lee Pepper
- 1 Freeing Emancipation Proclamation
- In two separate bowls pour in the 1/2 cup Union North and 1/2 cup Confederate South.
- Sprinkle the tablespoon of Abraham Lincoln in both bowls.
- Open up the cans of Fort Sumter and let them sit and spoil for 4 hours.
- Pour one tablespoon of industry into the bowl with the Union North and one tablespoon of farming into the bowl with the Confederate South.
- Place the 5 pounds fresh slavery into the bowl with the tablespoon of farming and Confederate South.
- Now take both bowls and mix them together!
- Add 1 teaspoon Jefferson Davis, 1 teaspoon Robert E. Lee, 1 teaspoon Ulysses S. Grant, and your Gettysburg Address seasoning.
- Now beat the ingredients into a ball as hard as you can and add your Crushed Robert E. Lee Pepper.
- This will make your 620,000 chopped lives and 375,000 sliced injuries.
- Cook this on 400 degrees for an hour.
- You finally get your delicious Free Emancipation Proclamation.