The Holy Roman Spectator

Holy Roman Empire

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By Cheeto the Duke of Awesomeness aka Christian Fezatte

-The Thirty Years War has officially ended here in the Holy Roman Empire with the recent signing of the Peace of Westphalia by our Holy Roman emperor Ferdinand III, Spain, France, the Swedish, the Dutch, and local Roman gentry and regional princes, demanding power (a system much like the regional Boyars of Russia) over the now sovereign states of our empire.

-Now, in 1648, after 30 years of fighting, the different European powers have agreed to stop the religious fighting in our lands. This war has left its marks however, as we have now been reduced to almost half of our population as of 1618. The sword, fire, and sickness of many nations have devastated our country. The economy had become strained during our war due to scarcity of laborers and constant war funding, leaving financial procurators in a panic. On the bright side, there are plenty of jobs open for those who somehow managed to survive the war and today’s economic crisis! The conflict between Protestantism and Catholicism has not truly been resolved, but it seems that the religious wars have slowed today, leaving room for political boundary expansion.

-As mentioned earlier, the imperial territories have now officially won sovereignty in the treaty, and political boundaries are to once again be disputed. In an interview with leader of small Clevernameneededstein (located South of Austria), Lord Fancyname claimed that “the sovereignty shall benefit Clevernameneededstein in our quest for our own independent power, in which my policy of Absolutism shall put me in charge of all without any silly Parliament restrictions and voting! Don’t tell my people about that last part.” Each territory seems to be splitting even farther from one another due to conflicting religious ideas, whether Protestant or Catholic, and the Peace of Westphalia has given these states means to separate once and for all.

-A final impact of this treaty includes the abolishment of private armies. Ferdinand III and Fredrick William are currently funding a national army to protect what nation we have left from the war. With a strained economy, a large national army may prove too much for our nation desperate to rebuild. This has become an issue of national security, not religious defense.

-Hopefully with the Peace of Westphalia our nation will bounce back to former glory, but this separation of states, strained economy, and devastated population do not look extremely promising for our future…

Works Cited;

"Thirty Years’ War." A&E Television Networks, n.d. Web. 08 Oct. 2015.

Priest/Nun scandal

By Claire Warren

While Pope Innocent X is defending his right to rule from Alexander VII who boasts of his own divine right to be Pope, a new scandal among the Catholic church has been unveiled. High Priest Hennery and the Nun Marry have been secretly married against Catholic rules behind the busy Pope's back. This relationship was well hidden at first, until Hennery and Marry were spotted holding hands in the church gardens. Pope Innocent has not officially declared any form of punishment stating, "This is under control and will be properly addressed". Many speculate that High Priest Hennery and the Nun Marry will be excommunicated for this hidden marriage.

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Separated kingdoms under one "empire"

By Cheeto Duke of Awesomeness (Christian Fezatte)

-The territories of our Holy Roman Empire have always been separated, but often times made political alliances as only Austria was powerful enough to support itself.

-The formal Imperial territories of the Holy Roman Empire have now become more separate than ever before with the sovereignty granted to them in the Treaty of Westphalia.

-Within these states people still dispute the issue of Catholicism and Protestantism (which we kind of just fought about guys.)

-Long story short, its beginning to seem like political power is rising over religious conflict in our states and Europe as a whole, with political intendants becoming more influential in life than ministers. The Thirty years war was fought over the Christian branches with no religious power truly conquering the next, making the church seem less of an all-powerful group than before.

Finance Report

By Kelsea Wade

Since the 30 years war has ended, the Holy Roman Empire is has been in a serious struggle concerning the national economy. Fredrick William has recently built a competent and efficient standing army, because he discovered that Branden-burg-Prussia is a small, open territory, with no natural frontiers for defense. This army possesses a force of around 40,000 men, and it absorbs more than 50% of the state's income. The little money that we had remaining has all now gone towards our army.

Art and Entertainment Piece

By Hunter Wilson

As we enter a new stage of life in the Holy Roman Empire, art development has exploded. Architecture includes new theatrical fashions while keeping some renaissance influence, and the Baroque style has taken over art. New findings of form, lights and shadow, and dramatic intensity are all major parts of this new emotional style. Among these new styles includes the Italian unusual Mannerism movement of strange scale, lights and color adopted by artists like Michelangelo. Elias Holl and Joseph Furltenbach have risen to architectual fame after our devastating war, and amazing buildings like the St. Charles Church in Vienna, Austria, have sprung up around our Empire.

Technology Update

By Claire Warren

The Holy Roman Empire has seemingly fallen behind in the development of new technologies. While countries such as England have began to advance weaponry and large ships for exploration capable of holding up to 400 men for exploration and settlement, we haven't necessarily developed any military, transportation, or any modern advancement. Meanwhile, to our South, Middle Eastern countries are making military advancements to rival our power with trained skilled soldiers like the Janissaries. What are we planning to do about this issue? Some claim Emperor Ferdinand III is taking what little money we have left from the recent thirty years war to build a national army to defend ourselves in a weakened state.

International News

By Jack Prosice

After this Thirty Years War, France is experiencing a famine devastating over one million people. The combination of a weakened economy and a heavy rain through spring and summer impacting crops proved fatal as no one could afford what scarce crops they could find due to economic inflation.


Do YOU know anyone who floats as if they are wooden or weighs the same as a duck??? Bring your witches to Vienna square this Monday to rid this world of them for good! Witchcraft has become a major problem, and it needs to be stopped before evil rises against us!

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