Cece's Single No More!

Katie Kawar

Hopeless cause

Dear Cece,

I have read your column for years , but I never thought I would be writing to you. I've tried going to meetings of "women who love too much" but i'm still hurting, so I thought maybe you could help me. my problem is that the guy I love doesn't want to be in the same room as me.He thinks i'm like a piece of rotten fruit, you don't want to go near me, I smell bad, and I attract bugs, but I don't want to attract bugs I want to attract him! I just don't know what happened. we used to be madly in love, and no one could separate us. Then he met my best friend. He was instantly in love, and I was left in the dirty gutter water. luckily she hates him, but that doesn't seam to matter, the more hate she blows him the more kisses he blows her. it is almost like he finds that even more attractive. I just don't know what to do, please help!

sincerely yours


A solution to a hopeless cause

Dear Hopeless

Seams like you've got yourself into quite a sticky situation love, but you've come to the write place. Honey, we are going to slap this problem with the solution stick, stay tuned!

Your first choice is the boring, moral, human one that leaves you not only single, but ready to mingle! It seams hard at first ,but trust me its not. You will eat a few chocolate Bon-Bons, have a girls night, and be ready to move on. Just remember there are plenty of fairies in the magical forest sugar plum.

Your second choice is the more "realistic" one. It sends you on a great journey over the rainbow ,and past the north star, all the way to cupids garden. Now sugar I want you to stay away from those over priced, complicated ,flowers of his. what you need to do is move past the obvious and go strait for those arrows. It may take a little charm and money, but it will be worth it. Keep in mind that the love in those arrows on lasts sixty days, so you should probably stalk up.

well baby girl that's all the advise I have for you today, and can't wait to see your decision, although I am pretty sure I know what it will be. Thanks for choosing "Cece's single no more " ,and i wish you the greatest of luck. Don't forget to tell me how it turns out sweat pea.

Single in seatle

I live in seatle, California, and my boyfriend just broke up with me. He was my first true love, and I cant bare being away from him and thinking about how I cant text him good morning and good night anymore. I just dont know how to get over this. please help me!

yours truly

single in seatle