The Friend Zone

Theseus's Dumping Spree


In A Midsummer Night's Dream, guys dumping on girls and vice versa is completely natural. Or as the play argues. One line particularly sparked me to choose Theseus; the son of Poseidon, the Minotaur slayer... And also the king of dumping. Oberon talked about him: "Didst thou not lead him through the glimmering night from Perigouna, whom he ravishèd? And make him with fair Ægles break his faith, with Ariadne and Antiopa?"

The fact that he dumped so many girls stunned me; the honorable Minotaur slayer Theseus, is also the guy who dumped 4 girls. Although Demetrius ditches Helena too, it's just really surprising that Theseus would do such a thing.

Although most of this lies outside the timeline of A Midsummer Night's Dream it does tie into it near the end.

In the beginning, there was one...

But then there was two. And soon enough, there were four. That's how many girls Theseus has loved and also dumped.

The first one he dumped as mentioned in the play A Midsummer Night's Play was Perigouna. Theseus killed her father, Sinis, who was a robber, and after he promised not to hurt her she came out from her hiding place. Later she bore his children however Theseus abandoned her.

The next person he loved was Ariadne. Ariadne helped him kill the Minotaur and escape the Labyrinth by giving him the golden twine, after making Theseus promise to marry her after he escaped.

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You Save Me - Kenny Chesney - Lyrics(On Screen)

You Save Me - Kenny Chesney #1

Theseus would, if possible probably feel like Kenny Chesney in this song right after he came out of the Labyrinth, or maybe even after killing the Minotaur. He would definitely direct the song towards Ariadne, who indirectly saved him. But after this song, he kinda feels like, ehh, maybe she's not right for me and maybe I should just go for someone else. And then...
Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know (Lyrics)

Somebody That I used to know - Gotye #2

He just abandoned her at the island of Naxos for Aegles (But she wasn't even the last one), leaving her sleeping and vulnerable to the island beasts. I think he fits the song perfectly; before and right after escaping the Labyrinth, he probably thought that she was right for him, but then slowly changed his mind. Again, he would probably be directing this to Ariadne, although Ariadne probably wouldn't direct the female part of this song back at Theseus. Maybe he thinks it's okay to go find others, even if it means breaking oaths. After all, it's not true love. Is it?
The Wanted - Glad You Came Lyrics

Glad You Came - The Wanted #3

This is probably how much he loved Aegles, considering for her he dumped Ariadne whom he dumped Perigouna. He would feel like this before he dumped Ariadne; in some versions he forsakes Ariadne for Aegles. Of course, he would direct his feelings towards Aegles. However apparently he didn't love her enough; because after capturing Hippolyta from the Amazon he fell in love with her.
Wasted Love - Matt McAndrew (Lyrics)

Wasted Love - Matt McAndrew #4

You know, I think these songs are starting to fit so closely it's becoming scary.

Theseus certainly has a lot of wasted love; on Perigouna, Ariadne, and Aegles. He would probably feel like this when his relationship with Aegles started breaking, but due to his persistence, he soon found Hippolyta. For this one he would actually target this towards Perigouna, Ariadne, and Aegles all together even. He thinks he still hasn't found the right person. He thinks he has to keep looking. But it's all good because he found Hippolyta. RIght?

The Voice 2014 - Damien: "Soldier" (Official Music Video)
Anthony Evans - I Found You
Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You (Lyrics)

Soldier - Damien #5 & I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden #6 & I Found You - Anthony Evans #7

After fighting many battles against the Amazon, Theseus captured Hippolyta,the magical queen of the Amazons who owned the Magic Girdle from Ares, her father. Theseus's original intention was to capture the Girdle, which he did but he also captured Hippolyta, whom he had to fight even more battles for.

Theseus was completely entranced by Hippolyta the moment he saw her. Hippolyta wasn't really just any other Amazon. After all, she's magical and as an added bonus the son of Ares.

Luckily, we've come to the end of the line. Hippolyta is the last one in the list; they are just starting their marriage near the end of the play. Hippolyta was his "Beautiful fire burning through the sky." Theseus would probably listen to this song soon after he found Hippolyta and threw way Aegles. He would direct these songs towards Hippolyta, obviously.

Maybe he thinks that it was worth it to come this way, that in order to find true love, dumping people is okay.

On a side note...

His own relationship wasn't all that Theseus affected, or in this case, didn't affect. Lysander tells Theseus directly that Helena was cheated on by Demetrius, and Theseus responds with, "I've been meaning to look into it, and meant to ask Demetrius about it, but I was too busy with personal matters and it slipped my mind." And now he's clearly reminded of it and is going to do something about it. But no, he just ignores the whole matter. Even though Demetrius is back with Helena, I can't help but feel Theseus should have acted earlier to punish Demetrius for cheating on Helena.
Anna Kendrick - Cups (Pitch Perfect's "When I'm Gone") Lyrics

When I'm Gone - Anna Kendrick #8

Theseus loved Hippolyta. That was no joke; he practically fought an extra war because he wanted to keep her. But even the queen of the Amazons didn't last. Theseus later married Phaedra, sister of Ariadne; daughter of Minos. It's really odd how the same family was struck twice by one guy. Anyway, Theseus would probably listen to this after Hippolyta, probably thinking about her, and how he missed her.
Three Days Grace - Animal I Have Become (Lyric Video)

Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace #9 & Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz #10

Maybe around now Theseus is looking back. And then he realizes... He would listen to it after Phaedra, his last love. After Phaedra fell in love with her stepson, Hippolytus, she committed suicide. He would tired of love finally and wanted nothing to do with it. The first one, by Three Days Grace he would probably listen directed to himself, but Break Your Heart would be like a reflection to future lovers.
Break Your Heart Taio Cruz w/ lyrics and download link