A Modest Proposal

for dealing with the issue of equality amongst Americans

A Sudden Uprise of Awareness

With the help of social media, awareness for social issues has exponentially increased within the past few years. Perhaps the most prominent of these issues is the idea of equality. With 1,936,516 tweets about gender equality alone, this idea has certainly grabbed the attention of the American people. Everybody seems to agree that something must be done about this issue, but there is a comparative lack of actual solutions being proposed. Until now...

The Solution

The goal is to end oppression by creating a society in which all humans are exactly equal. With the help of modern science, we are now able to accomplish such a feat:

  • The medical practice of asexual reproduction will be used universally, meaning that men will no longer be of any use. Their species will eventually die out and gender inequality issues will finally be resolved.

  • A new discovery in genetic modification has made it possible to evolutionally blend all of the races. Over time, no skin color will differ from the next.

  • Cash will no longer be accepted as legitimate currency. Instead, everybody will receive weekly rations in exchange for work.

  • Equal opportunity in the workforce will be imposed by a monthly job rotation. Children will join the workforce at the age of 10 and will continue to rotate until they are no longer capable of work, in which case they will no longer receive their provisional rations.

  • Any other miscellaneous advantages that an individual might have (such as superior intelligence, strength, or talent) will be dealt with by using technology like brain scramblers, leg braces, etc.
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So there you have it. Finally a solution. Because that's what everyone wants isn't it? Equality?

Or perhaps what we really want is an equal chance. To be born into a society in which we all have the equal opportunity to pursue our dreams freely; without being held back by circumstances with which we cannot change. Nobody should be denied their right to happiness based on the color of their skin or how much money their parents have. But then again, that's just my modest proposal.