Burgular needed!

Brilliant adventure awaits!

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Meet wise elf kings! Battle trolls and other monsters! Discover magic* artifacts!

A burgular is needed to assist in the slaying of the dragon smaug. Smaug resides in the lonely mountain and must be defeated in order to reclaim this dwarven homeland. On this quest, should you choose** to accept it, you will travel alongside the famous Thorin Oakenshield and 11 of his best dwarves, as well as the wizard Gandalf, whose eyebrows are only rivaled by his beard. It will be a long and arduous journey, and if you go you may die, but should you succeed you will discover riches beyond your wildest dreams***.

*Possibly cursed
**you don't have a choice
*** riches not guaranteed to be beyond your wildest dreams