The French Revolution

*Death Included With Every Purchase

The Three-Estate Lottery

You could either be an incredibly rich Clergy member, a wondrous Noble....


or a Peasant. Probably a Peasant.



It's not all bad, though, you're the back of the economy. The other two estates rely entirely on you, but because if your lack of education you don't know that. Of course, when you do you'll start off this crazy train, and King Louis is the poor conductor.

Choppy Choppy!

The French love guillotines. You can just litter and you'd have your head severed. Thousands of French citizens, most of the peasants ironically, got a-HEAD in their gravestone plans during the revolution. And what's not to like about guillotines? It's not like they've killed thousands of people over a period of a couple of years during the entirety of the French Revolution, right?

Employees of the Month;

Everything Will Suck.

Just When You Thought You Were Safe...

King Robespierre was supposed far superior than King Louis. Ha, no. That would be easy, instead he's going to turn into an arguably worse tyrant. Because nothing can be easy for you, Third Estate. In fact, how about I make it so YOU are the ones getting your head chopped off, not the nobility that we based this revolution off of. Yeah, I think I'll do that.

You WOULD Live in That Time Between Peace and Napoleon, Right?

In 1795 Napoleon came back to France and essentially saved the country with his general amazingness. Thanks, Napoleon, if only you left Egypt earlier. Maybe thousands wouldn't have died, or the tyrant wouldn't have ruled. Or... maybe your head would have gotten chopped off, too. I guess your timing wasn't THAT bad, then. I mean, more people COULD have died. I should stop asking more from something that's already a miracle.