Janeera Gonzalez



Name: Janeera Nickol Gonzalez (Ghost)

Born: July 18,1996 Grand Forks, North Dakota

Parents: Juan and Lucia Gonzalez

Siblings: Johnny and Jazmine Gonzalez

Future student at The University of Texas -Arlington

Student at Irving High School

In Photo: Monty (left) Janeera (right) -Kissing my nose

First Memoir

As you were sleeping

When I was younger I loved helping others. Unlike other children I enjoyed being close to a hospital, because to me it meant someone's health would get better, not always but most of the time this was true. I grew up around the sick, as odd as that may sound I was use to ill people around me. My grandpa was one of these sick beings.

While growing up I remember traveling back and forth from one small town to the other to see my grandpa, who's health always appeared to be deteriorating, yet his soul always seemed to regenerate. After some time I became accustomed to our frequent visits, as I grew older it was something I became numb to and considered normal. I no longer worried, until one of our routine visits changed. The week that my grandpas condition no longer bloomed was just like any other visit.

After a few days however he no longer flourished instead his well being plummeted to rock bottom. When this happened my grandpa passed away in the month of November and this moment has permanently been engraved in my memory like in stone. Yet, that day has been the most influential on my still unraveling faith because it changed the entire trajectory of my life. I learned to not give up on others and their well being/health and instead of letting this tragedy tear me down it became my foundation. It was the base of my motivation to help others in anyway I could, it became my passion it became the reason I want to dedicate my life to being in the medical field when I grow up.

Last Memoir

These days are the days

I wish I could stop time

So I could put the way I feel

Into some silly rhyme

This year has come to an end

And I will miss you all my dear friends

Something I thought I wanted

Has transformed, now I'm haunted

Everywhere I turn I see strangers

Tainted with melancholy smiles

And some of us won't see each other due to

everlasting miles

My only wish for you

Everything you want

Unfolds and becomes true

You're on to bigger and better things

Who am I to not let you spread your wings

It's about time you see your potential

Move on to the Essentials

You go your way

I'll go mine

Neither one of us will stay

Leading to our goodbyes

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My Funeral

They’ll probably mispronounce my name at my funeral, but that’s okay, it won't matter because well I’m dead. I’d like to think I’ve lived an extraordinary life. I was pretty privileged to be able to travel and experience what a gypsy soul feels like. The distant but lingering memory of small towns to big cities excites me and makes my entire being tingle or maybe what I’m feeling is my soul leaving my body, what I expected to be a numb sensation. I look back on life and feel complete because I know when I get where I'm going a whole new journey awaits me. I feel blissful, well balanced and even sensible, yet these fleeting thoughts, feelings and memories begin to fade away. I'm like a candle burning out, and I know I will bringing on heartache.

I think a lot of people will miss me because I mean look at me even in my casket I'm the bomb diggity some may even say rad, ya know? However, the things I honestly will miss the most will obviously be my twenty-one cats that I'll miss forever and this saddens me deeply because I didn't put them in my will since well I don't have a will... I'm totally kidding I don't have any pets in view of the fact that I love to wonder, even so if I did have a will it would be empty and useless due to the fact that I have nothing tangible to give.

The sound of soft music fills the room I'm in, I hear muffled murmurs and gentle sobs. My loved one are mourning for me. I hear familiar voices quivering poignantly. An aura of melancholy surrounds my somber family. I begin to listen to whispers of consultation. A few friendly faces lean over my casket to see me one last time I can see their blurred faces through my closed eyes, these images all obscured. The overwhelming ambiance of the funeral home is too much for me. The scenes of lamentation I want to cover with tranquility, I want to tell all my friends and family that their should only be happy tears, that I died in one of the most peaceful ways, at the age of twenty-six in my sleep. My last desire being that my loved ones posses some sort of serenity. Yeah, when I get where I'm going don't cry for me down here. I'm headed for a new journey.


I am as white as snow.

I am as white as paper.

I am, Janeera Gonzalez.

Spaced Out

Sometimes I wonder if there's anything more
My daily life is such a bore
When everything becomes routine
My thoughts begin to in trance me
I slowly start to drift away
Soul in another place
I'm in a race
My body's here
That's what I fear
Reality begins to fade
Peace is all that I crave
I want to sail the seven seas
I want to outrun my destiny
My heads inside a dream
In another paradise
Nothings is as it seems
Mesmerized I fall from the sky
Reality awakens me, My hologram breaks
I have to say good-bye
I'll see it all another time

Hold On

Hold fast to your thoughts
For if your thoughts fly
Life becomes a paper
Empty with no lines

Hold fast to your faith
So if your faith seized
Life has no purpose
Like a vacant sea

Hold fast to your dreams
Don't let them flea
You might end up lost
Like a blind man who can't see

Hold onto your loved ones