Chapter 3

Unappreciative or Irritating Adults

You won't be able to influence everyone, but you may have more power than you to make your school more of what you want it to be.
  • Find out what other people value
  • Recognize people, notice them: people want to feel successful and think of themselves as important
  • Be patient
  • Commit to change: develop a plan & follow through
  • Plant the seed: when seeking change, it is sometimes necessary to be satisfied with singles because home runs are a lot harder to hit!
  • Keep things in perspective
  • Remember what is important. We touch lives in way we never know and never will
  • Learn to gracefully blow your own horn. All people need recognition
  • Seek your compliments. Give before you get.
  • Make yourself visible
  • Listen respectfully and intensely even when you disagree
  • Be specific when you give feedback: I messages
  • Give a reason that makes sense
  • Offer a meaningful apology
  • Choose how to hear the message:
  1. Hear blame and blame back
  2. Hear blame, believe it, and blame yourself.
  3. Hear blame but listen to your own needs and feelings
  4. Hear blame but listen to the other persons needs and feelings
  • THINK:
  1. Take a few deep breaths
  2. Hold your tongue
  3. Initiate positive conversation
  4. Nosiness gets you nowhere (so avoid gossip)
  5. Know what to say or do to make the situation better or get out of there
  • Go selectively deaf: pick your battles
  • Make the issue about an idea, not personality
  • Remember: people tend to resist change when they feel forced to let fo of the familiar.
  • When in doubt: reach out.
  • Keep away from toxic colleagues
  • See tough parents in a new light: they do care about their children.
  • Many ideas for conducting successful conferences with challenging parents

5-4-3-2-1: Use the most important words

5- "You did a good job!"

4-"Can I help you?"

3-"Would you please?"

2-"Thank you."

1-"You"