Mead-Hall Journal

Centennial Issue- The Best Stories of the Past 100 Years

Beowulf Saves The Day!

Two weeks ago the despicable monster, Grendel, terrorized the village killing a total of 30 men and injuring countless more. Later on, the horrendous monster attacked again each night. After a week of attacks the hero Beowulf decided to come from Geatland and slay Grendel. That night, Beowulf and Hrothgar's men spent the night waiting for Grendel's demise, as Grendel naively walked, the men attacked and none of their swords worked. Beowulf dauntlessly slaughtered the fiend by hand.

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Letters to the Editors

To whom may concern,

All this talk about Beowulf is making me go berserk, I mean seriously if Beowulf can't win a swimming race then how how can you expect me to believe that he could slay Grendel for crying out loud! I am shocked to see that he would come out of shame for losing to the competitor.

-Anonymous U.

Not Once but Twice

Beowulf did it again! The hero defeated another monster who turned out to be Grendel's mother.

A few days after the monstrosity, that was Grendel, was slayed his mother came in knocking down the doors to the mead-hall with a obligation to avenge her son's death. Beowulf gallantly dove right in and didn't let this wretched beast kill anymore people. He finally killed the mother of Grendel and he went home to enjoy his spoils of treasure.

The King has Spoken

It has been nearly fifty years since the slaying of Grendel's mother and since then, Beowulf has been busy being King of Geatland.

This past week there were reports of a dragon on the border of Geatland towards where Hrothgar used to rule. So far, over five people went missing near this region, residents are warned to stay out of this ten miles radius. Beowulf has stepped up to the plate and decided to slay this beast in the coming week. Beowulf had led the Geats into a golden-age of their time. They say, "Third time's a charm," although would this be the case for the tremendous king or will fate decide otherwise?

Slaying of the Dragon

Tuesday, Oct. 13th 657 at 1:30pm

Edge of the Border

Come see Beowulf Slay the Dragon! Come eat some lamb, goose, and Shepard's pie. Come drink stout with us and have a great time watching Beowulf slay this beast.

Beowulf's Slaying

Have an issue with monster? Contact your favorite monster-slayer, Beowulf. Beowulf does services for a small price or for a little less you can receive one of Beowulf's men to do the killing.

Beowulf Sacrifices Himself!

For the slaying of the Dragon, Beowulf brought with him his most trusted men who swore to stay by their king's side. As the scaly dragon breathed out his fiery flames all but one fled the scene. Wiglaf was the only one to stay by Beowulf's side. As Beowulf tried to slay the final beast he couldn't penetrate the hind of the dragon. In the final moments of Beowulf's life he spoke with a small monotone voice telling Wiglaf, "Give the spoils to the people." Beowulf will be always remembered through stories.