A Modest Proposal

For Preventing A World With No Fun.....

The Problem

As a parent with three teenagers I have many opinions about the parties that my children attend. .... Now a days we (the parents) allow our underage children to have wild parties in the comfort of our own homes. On top of the parties we also supply alcohol to the teenagers who have no knowledge of how much alcohol is enough which results in many puke stains on my carpet. They only drink to get drunk and don't know when to stop before they cause damage to themselves. When they pass out we are left to carry them around because they had no prior knowledge to how much they could handle. We give them the access to the weapons that could make or break them because they are not old enough yet to buy the alcohol themselves. I have also been stuck having to take my son out on a Sunday morning to Dennys or Perkins so that he can have a healthy hangover breakfast.

The Proposal/ The Solution

The only logical solution that makes sense to me is that we lower the drinking age from 21 to 10 so that we can teach children safe drinking habits at a young age. If we do this then young teenagers will have had the experience of drinking before they know its too late. If we didn't enforce this then children would not know how to party hard without being stupid. I would also be able to have more time to spend bonding with my three teens. Isn't that just a great idea!!! What could go wrong.....

The Plan

The solution will be enforced by requiring all children to take an alcohol awareness class in the fifth grade. In the class they will drink and have fun while learning the do's and don'ts of alcohol while also learning their limit. We could also encourage the kids to have crazy parties so that they can learn how much they can drink in a safe environment. One great example of this theory is the party from Project X. This party became way out of hand because their were no parents around who could party with them. If I had been at that party it would have been much better because I would have supplied the good alcohol and make sure that no one made any stupid choices. At most of the parties I have witnessed the teenagers are out of control and have a tendency to text and tweet all the time, which isn't wise when they are drunk. I thought that we could take away all of the technology at the start of the party so that the environment is not as tense with all the drama that those young people create.

The Advantages

By lowering the drinking ages we can have more parties and who doesn't love a good party? We would not have to worry about our kids getting alcohol poisoning because they were educated from the classes they were required to take at school. Another advantage that I know I have enforced many times in my household is the traditional wine on Christmas. This is a very enjoyable time and I get to spend lots of time bonding with my teens and being able to get drunk with them. We would also be able to have a common ground with the younger generation because with the new technology they are always changing. Another advantage is that we wouldn't have to pay for a babysitter anymore because we would be able to take our kids to the bar with us.


The Expedients

I heard the other day from a group of woman at the club, who have no children, that they were trying to pass some solutions that were completely ridiculous. They were suggesting that we try and promote alcohol- free parties through the local high schools and colleges that they attend. They also mentioned that if they had kids they would punish their children if they came home completely wasted. One solution that just blew me away is that they wanted the parents of the teens to be punished as well!! I heard them say that parents who promote parties with alcohol should be given fines or even jail time! Maybe they should spend some time in jail for the outrageous ideas they were throwing out.

The Conclusion

As I am trying to promote this plan, I had to do some research first. A few years ago 22% of teens who were underage binge drank. I'm guessing that these teens very rarely had the opportunity to drink. If the age was lowered that percentage would be much lower because teens would be able to drink whenever they wanted. About 5,000 teens also died because they were not educated on how to deal with alcohol from a very young age and a first hand experience. Drinking also causes many teen pregnancies that go unnoticed because of an abortion due to the fact that they don't want to admit they were drinking. Once the age is lowered I will become a Grandmother much sooner because my children won't be afraid to tell me they were drinking and are now expecting a baby.