The Magic Forest Gazette

Advice from the Love Fairy (Ms. Gemarino)

An Annoyed Owner of an Unwated Puppy

Dear Love Fiary,

I have read your column in The Magic Forest Gazette on the advice of my mother, who tells me I have a major problem: There is a girl in town who is obsessed with me! No matter what I do, I can't convince her that I'm not, nor will I ever, fall in love with her. I gone so far as to tell her the meanest, cruelest things--and I'm not a mean guy, but she just won't get the point! She is like an unwanted puppy who keeps coming back to my front door. What should I do so that she finally gets the point?


An Annoyed Owner of an Unwated Puppy

The Advice

Dear Annoyed Owner of an Unwanted Puppy,

Thanks for your letter and for turning to me, the Love Fairy, for help. I'm glad to help you with this problem, both with some common sense and maybe even a little magic!

First, try and put yourself in this poor, pitiful girl's heart. For some reason, her heart was capitaved by YOU! You may not even be as special as seems to believe you are, so take it as a complitment. Try being nice, but clear with your feelings. Don't result to degrading and bullying. One advantage, if done well, is that you let her down easy without looking a jerk for the other ladies of Athens. That's a win-win. The con: well, she still might not get it.

That leads me to my second piece of advice. As a fairy, I tend to dabble into the realm of cupid's arrow and know exactly where to find a magic flower that just might be the answer to your pleas! Why not use this enchanted flower to make your "unwated pup" find an owner who wants her all her own? All you have to do is purchase the flower (a mere $29.99) and dab the juice of the flower on a gentlman's eyes as he sleeps. When he wakes, make sure the first person he sees is this young lady, and ABRAKADABRA! She will get a guy, and you will have your hands free of this problem. One disadvantage I must warn of you is this can get pretty messy==trust me from my experience! I've seen love tringales turn into love squares from this magic.

Good luck on your love problems. Hopefully, you'll be free of this young maid soon and the right one will come along who you actually WANT to be there.


The Love Fairy