#ThatsNotLove
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
What is Dating Abuse?
Dating abuse (also known as dating violence, intimate partner violence, or relationship abuse) is a pattern of abusive behaviors -- usually a series of abusive behaviors over a course of time -- used to exert power and control over a dating partner.
Every relationship is different, but the things that unhealthy and abusive relationships have in common are issues of power and control. Violent words and actions are tools an abusive partner uses to gain and maintain power and control over their partner.
Anyone can experience dating abuse or unhealthy relationship behaviors, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic standing, ethnicity, religion or culture. It does not discriminate and can happen to anyone in any relationship, whether it’s one that is casual or serious.
What Does Dating Abuse Look Like?
- Physical Abuse: Any intentional use of physical force with the intent to cause fear or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking or using a weapon.
- Verbal or Emotional Abuse: Non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.
- Sexual Abuse: Any action that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including rape, coercion or restricting access to birth control.
- Digital Abuse: Use of technologies and/or social media networking to intimidate, harass or threaten a current or ex-dating partner such as demanding passwords, checking cell phones, cyberbullying, non-consensual sexting, excessive or threatening texts or stalking on social media.
- Stalking: Being repeatedly watched, followed, monitored or harassed. Stalking can occur online or in person, and may or may not include giving unwanted gifts.
- Financial Abuse: Exerting power and control over a partner through their finances, including taking or withholding money from a partner, or prohibiting a partner from earning, or spending their money.
That's Not Love Campaign
The #ThatsNotLove campaign is a series of short and shareable digital content in five unique chapters that works to shine a spotlight on unhealthy or emotionally abusive relationship behaviors—or the gray area between love and control. If you see one of these behaviors in your relationships or your friends’ relationships, don’t hesitate to say, “That’s Not Love!”
Click here to view the chapters which include:
- Behind the Post - Social media can skew our view of the relationships around us and, in some cases, influence our decisions to stay in unhealthy ones. Explore all 10 signs of an unhealthy relationship and start the conversation with your friends.
- Because I Love You - Such a simple phrase can take on a different meaning in an unhealthy relationship; escalating from a statement of care to one of control. Learn more about controlling statements and how you can empower your friends to make a difference.
- Couplets - The Couplets define the difference between a good relationship and an unhealthy one. If you see three or more of these warning signs in your relationship, it’s a problem. Don’t be ashamed to tell someone when #thatsnotlove.
- Asterisk - Read the fine print. If your partner uses phrases like, “I love you” or “I’m sorry” to manipulate a situation, #thatsnotlove.
- Love Labyrinth - Feeling trapped in the Love Labyrinth is a very real and frightening symptom of relationship abuse. One way out is awareness.
- #Okforpetsnotpartners - Pets can and will take advantage of our love. And we forgive them because they’re cute and fluffy and don’t know any better. But people should know better.
CAMPUS RESOURCES
Title IX at Knox College
It is most important to do what is right for you. There is no right or wrong way to respond to an act of sexual misconduct. If you or someone you know has been assaulted, a variety of resources are available. For more information, please call or visit the website listed below.
Old Jail 12
337 South Cherry Street
Galesburg, IL 61401
Cell: 309-337-6536
Office: 309-341-7751
Counseling Services
Furrow Hall
175 West Knox Street
Galesburg, IL 61401-4999
Office: 309-341-7492
Campus Safety
The Department of Campus Safety provides service to the campus on a 24-hour, seven day per week schedule.
For immediate emergencies, contact 911.
Administrative Service Center (ASC) Building
368 S. Prairie Street
Galesburg, IL 61401
Office: 309-341-7979
LOCAL RESOURCES
Victim Services
24 Hour Crisis Hotline: 309-837-5555
Office: 309-837-3941
wirc@wirpc.org
Safe Harbor
Safe Harbor Family Crisis Center is a non-profit community agency that provides confidential help to individuals who are experiencing violence in their relationships.
1188 West Main St.
Galesburg, Illinois
24 Hour Crisis Hotline: 309-343-SAFE (7233)
NATIONAL RESOURCES
National Domestic Violence Hotline
National Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Love is Respect
Highly-trained advocates offer support, information and advocacy to young people who have questions or concerns about their dating relationships. They also provide information and support to concerned friends and family members, teachers, counselors, service providers and members of law enforcement. Free and confidential phone, live chat and texting services are available 24 hours per day.
Chat at www.loveisrespect.org
Text loveis to 22522*
Call 1-866-331-9474
Break the Cycle
Upcoming Events
Depression Workshop
This workshop is meant as an opportunity to learn coping skills to decrease depressive symptoms. The majority of this time will be spent sharing, practicing, and discussing coping techniques. This is not group counseling, but rather is set up as a classroom-like learning environment.
Tuesday, Oct 9, 2018, 12:00 PM
SMC D213
Anxiety Workshop
This workshop is meant as an opportunity to learn coping skills to decrease anxiety symptoms. The majority of this time will be spent sharing, practicing, and discussing coping techniques. This is not group counseling, but rather is set up as a classroom-like learning environment.
Friday, Oct 12, 2018, 12:00 PM
SMC D205
National Wear Purple Day
Make a fashion statement that really says something! Wear something purple on Thursday, October 25th to honor victims and support survivors of domestic violence.
Thursday, Oct 25, 2018, 12:00 AM
Everywhere!
Counseling Services
Making an appointment is easy! Calling is the fastest way to schedule an appointment, but you can also visit our office or send us an email!
Current Staff:
Janell McGruder – Director, Counselor
Megan Downs – Assistant Director, Counselor
Emily Trulson - Counselor
Claire Palmer – Intake Coordinator
Vicki Swedlund - Administrative Assistant
Email: counseling@knox.edu
Website: https://www.knox.edu/offices/health-and-counseling-center/counseling-services
Location: Furrow Hall, 175 W. Knox St.
Phone: 309-341-7492
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/knoxcollegecounselingservices/