Latest Gossip: News Going Around

Today's Article, Trade: Is it For the better or worse?

Agriculture Trade Soaring Up,

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Recently, trade has become very popular. However, most people think that our precious jewels would be the most common things to trade. Yet, they are not. Farmers have been using a new irrigation system which produces crops quicker. This causes more trade to go out through the city-states. Ur has been trading all the way to Assyria for barley, wheat, dates, and cucumbers. However, the Assyrians normally raid the travelling merchants. Akkad and Babylon have made a treaty with a water trade route to protect themselves from the bandits.

Farmer's are becoming richer by the moment by the higher class still dismiss them as the lower class on the social hierarchy. Protests are arising from farmers who say they won't feed the royalty unless they are treated as equals to royalty. This strike movements have many empires concerned and soon, they might have to forcefully take the crops. Stay tuned for further news about the tension.

Daily Comics by Artist, Jack Bressler

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Ways of Transporting Goods, Animals Abused for Labor?

Recently, reports of animal abuse has been taking place in Babylon. Traveling merchants were gifted with the idea of having the animal taking luggage but recently, the animals are being taken advantage of.

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Meet Humpday. He is a camel who is a victim of animal abuse. Humpday has been shown to have a bruised underside and scabbed skin. His owner had to pay a fine and the camel is now a free animal. People use camels because they are cheap and don't need water as often as other animals.

There have been over two hundred animal abuse cases this year. Hammurabi is considering to make a 283rd law to protect animals from abuse by giving the owner the same beating in the places where the animal was abused. However, people are not so sure of the idea.

The future looks bright for Humpday. He now is a star and has his own commercial.

GEICO Hump Day Camel Commercial - Happier than a Camel on Wednesday

Production Concerns

Merchants are concerned about the fast-track of goods. Interviewer Ben Wilen goes to check out the factor. Apparently, things have sped up because the workers are all slaves forced to unjustly work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week until death. However, they are slaves which makes him legally allowed to do this. People decide to boycott this company.

One man speaks out, "I'd rather wait a year than to have people spend their lives unwillingly making goods."

However, another man argues, "Who cares? They're slaves and they can die for all I care. The faster the goods get here, the better!"

Further investigation is in trial to decide the final verdict on this case.

Bandits, Harmful,....or Helpful?

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Normally, you would think of bandits are grotesque, unsanitary pirates. All though they might be those things, there is deep down a soft spot to the big guys.

Evidence shows that almost 70% of bandits raids end up with the freedom of the captives. Bandits are shown to even give the victims some things to keep. Killing rate has gone down and trauma victims as well.

Another reason to thank the bandits is because they are the reason we strive for water transportation. Thanks to them, we took the initiative and invented a new, easier, safer way to travel.

A lot of bandits are Assyrians anymore but just outcasts who were alienated from their homes. The raid because they need supplies to survive. Does this prove our point? Can bandit's be foes or friends? It's your decision.

Shipment of Goods Arrive, Big Banquet Tonight at the Babylonian Palace!

Disregarding the previous article about production, let's take a moment to celebrate our shipment of goods. People have been waiting in line at the docks for days now, excited for the shipment. The Babylonian king announces he will proudly hold a feast tonight for anyone above farmers in the social hierarchy, which angers the farmers.

One man has been waiting in line for two weeks. He hasn't eaten in four days and cleaned himself even longer. People are nauseated by the unsightly appearance. Hopefully, his patience pays off and he can clean himself up.

The banquet celebration is to begin by twilight. Originally, the goods were to be here last week but the tide was low and unfortunately the celebration was delayed.

Value of Money, is it Changing?

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The picture above is a golden nugget.

Our currency is gold, silver and usually paid in minas. However, with trade expanding, every day objects are becoming more valuable. Reports say that a pound of barley or wheat is becoming a new way to trade things. Gold and silver are fading away.

But the question asks, is this good or bad?

Interviewer Ben Wilen reports of people also using lapis lazuli for money. Although there is no official currency, it seems people now trade objects instead of buying them with gold and silver. Slowly, this way of currency is dying away. Hammurabi's Code describes the currency as precious and valuable, but will it always be that way? It's a personal opinion, is thing the brink of a new civilization? Or is the end of ways of life as we know it?

Slave Auction Next Week in Akkad

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You heard it from us folks, reports broke through revealing a secret royal slave auction next week in Akkad, hosted by the king. He wishes his daughter to have a servant. Slaves had no rights, they are allowed to be mistreated, some are prisoners of war and others are just in deep debt. We have a primary source to confirm the slave trade next week. Interviewer Ben Wilen gather Intel from primary source Sean -doesn't want his last name revealed-, "Next week in the royal palace, I'm telling ya, hundreds of slaves sold off! It's truth, do not alert the public and do not quote me on this."

Ironic, we did quote this on him. An now the king is probably going to have execute him for revealing a caucus.

Woman Merchant Speaks Out to Assyrian Leader About Lack of Rights

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Lady Shawna has recently spoken out to the Assyrian king Ashurbanipal because of her lack of rights as a merchant.

Here is what she has to say, "It's disgusting. I want to run a business, provide my family with a little extra food at dinner every night. The fact that our king tries to push us women out of the way like that, it mortifies me. We should be able to look up to our king, not shun him giving women no rights. I say take a stand, give me rights or give me death! Holler it! Give me my rights! Give me my rights!"

Interviewer Ben Wilen asks her, "What was the final step that provoked you over the edge?"

Lady Shawna replied to this, "I was at a local pub, just wanting a drink. They told me to get out or else they'll bound me and toss me into the river. I knocked their teeth out and would proudly do it again. And to anyone who thinks women aren't as strong as men, you can meet me at my merchant hut located by the outer rim of Assyria. I'll be waiting, come if you dare."


The Bibliography credits the sources the Gossip heard from to spread the news. We found all of this in Ashurbanipal's library.