Polonius' Advice Column
Published by Luke Elms
Rule 1: Honor is important
Girls bring honor to family, Don't ruin that with a Hamlet affair!
Rule 2: Be very Careful
Hamlet may not have the most honest motives, be careful around him!
Rule 3: Avoid self-indulgence
Princes like Hamlet have impulsive lifestyles, Be pure! Don't be intimate with such ever again!
Rule 4: Maintain thy purity
Your virginity is sacred! Don't let hime take it!
Rule 5: Love is not always absolute
Even if his love is true, it will easily pass for someone like him!
Rule 6: Always have scorn against such men
Reject all of Hamlet's pesky advances!
Rule 7: Even honorable men can beest liars
Hamlet's love is false! All his promises are lies!
Rule 8: Some might fool you with charm
A prince at his age, he merely toys with girls!
Rule 9: Beest patient and good things will cometh
Just wait, And you will live a happy Danish Marriage
Rule 10: Being close-minded isn't always bad
Don't be affectionate or cordial to Hamlet!