Polonius' Advice Column

Published by Luke Elms

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Rule 1: Honor is important

Girls bring honor to family, Don't ruin that with a Hamlet affair!

Rule 2: Be very Careful

Hamlet may not have the most honest motives, be careful around him!

Rule 3: Avoid self-indulgence

Princes like Hamlet have impulsive lifestyles, Be pure! Don't be intimate with such ever again!

Rule 4: Maintain thy purity

Your virginity is sacred! Don't let hime take it!

Rule 5: Love is not always absolute

Even if his love is true, it will easily pass for someone like him!

Rule 6: Always have scorn against such men

Reject all of Hamlet's pesky advances!

Rule 7: Even honorable men can beest liars

Hamlet's love is false! All his promises are lies!

Rule 8: Some might fool you with charm

A prince at his age, he merely toys with girls!

Rule 9: Beest patient and good things will cometh

Just wait, And you will live a happy Danish Marriage

Rule 10: Being close-minded isn't always bad

Don't be affectionate or cordial to Hamlet!