Love Advice for Desperate Mortals
From LLD Rainbow Turtle
Dear Dr. Rainbow Turtle,
The Desperate Love-Deprived Blueberry Pie
LLD Rainbow Turtle
LLD Rainbow Turtle Love Advice Office
My romantic Colosseum office under the moon where all the love classes and love magic takes place.
Desperate Love-Deprived Blueberry Pie
THAT'S YOU!! YUMMYFUL.
LLD Rainbow Turtle Love Column Reply to the Desperate Love-Deprived Blueberry Pie
Dear Desperate Love-Deprived Blueberry Pie,
My second offer of professional advice: come to my special Love Classes! Every day for three hours, you get to socialize with attractive charming men from all over Athens! The whole point of these free classes is to help you find your perfect match. To find a better replacement for the rascal you currently love. The positives: You may find a perfect replacement and forget all about the man you used to chase after. The Negatives: The man you chose might be liked by someone else; result: Cat-fight!
The third and final piece of advice I humbly offer you: get rid of your best friend. A last resort, as it may be tricky and heartbreaking. Come by my office and pick up a few potions I conjure up for unfortunates like you, and we will get rid of her together, painlessly on her part. As for your creepy stalker, we'll just get rid of him, too. The positives: The creepy stalker will be gone, and the man you love will turn to you instead of your friend. The negatives: The man you love might find out it was you who got rid of her.
I hope you get back to me soon, and think about my useful advice. A few words describing my advice from anonymous Athenians: 'Helpful', 'perfect', 'works like a charm'. Oh, and one more thing; self love is the only love that matters.
Rainbow Turtle, LLD