Taft: Mr. Trustbuster

"He Can Crush Monopolies With a Single Blow"

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Arch Nemesis: Dr. Party-Splitter

The Evil Dr. Party-Splitter is notorious for his devious tricks and machinations, which always seem to divide groups and set his victims against each other. He has committed innumerable evils:

  1. He once used his Stun Gun of Ineptitude, which handicapped Mr. Trustbuster in the Political Arena.
  2. Later, he fired his Rifle of Ridicule and Crossbow of Criticism at Mr. Trustbuster’s “Dollar Diplomacy” vest.
  3. He then threw his Trident of Trusts and swung at Mr. Trustbuster with his Monopoly Machete.
  4. Afterwards, he shot Ice Balls of Insubordination, which compelled Mr. Trustbuster to banish Pinchot the agrarian chief.
5. He also launched Dark Darts of Division at super-speed and broke the Grand Old Party in two.

Side-Kick: Mrs. Minus-Monopoly

Using her superior writing skills and mental manipulation powers, she convinced countless citizens to condemn the monopolistic Standard Oil Company, which disobeyed the Sherman Anti-Trust Act of 1890. She utilizes her super powers through publications.

Ida Tarbell

The Battle

Fortunately, Mr. Trustbuster and Mrs. Minus-Monopoly were able to defeat the evil Dr. Party-Splitter by working together. Mr. Trustbuster was able to use Antitrust Arrows to attack and disarm Dr. Party-Splitter and knock the Monopoly Machete out of his hand. Meanwhile, Mrs. Minus-Monopoly caught the Trident of Trusts as it flew towards them, and turned the weapon against Dr. Party-Splitter, who was already weakening Mr. Trustbuster’s relationship with an old friend: Rowdy Roosevelt. Mr. Trustbuster then used his telekinesis powers to remove the tariff barriers and he signed the Payne-Aldrich Bill. Dr. Party-Splitter grew even stronger with this move. However, Mr. Trustbuster could not only focus on destroying the Party-Splitter; he also had the responsibility of saving the land and the environment. Therefore, with conservationist intentions, he set up the Bureau of Mines to control mineral resources. Nevertheless, Dr. Party-Splitter knew just what to do to give Mr. Trustbuster a formidable time; he provoked the Ballinger-Pinchot quarrel and sent a storm of protests toward the helpless hero. The old friend—Rowdy Roosevelt—reemerged against Mr. Trustbuster with a doctrine of New Nationalism. The hero now faced tremendous difficulties. Despite innumerable hindrances, Mr. Trustbuster was able to gain enough support from his people to win the final showdown (Republican Convention).

Works Cited

Bailey, Thomas Andrew, David M. Kennedy, and Lizabeth Cohen. The American pageant. 11th ed. Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1998. Print.

"Ida Tarbell Life & Works." Ida Tarbell Home Page. N.p., n.d. Web. 5 Mar. 2013. <http://tarbell.allegheny.edu/biobib.html>.

"William Howard Taft | The White House." The White House. N.p., n.d. Web. 5 Mar. 2013. <http://www.whitehouse.gov/about/presidents/williamhowardtaft>.