Students' Emotional Needs
How they impact learning and what we can do for support
Teachers are often the first adults students turn to when struggling with mental health
Hey Sigmond! Wonderful Site Full of Supports
"When it comes to dealing with difficult emotions – and anxiety is certainly one of those – anything you can say to validate, rather than change what your brave little person is going through will be important... kids don’t break when the adults in their lives respond to them in a way that’s empowering, loving and generous."
5 Easy Things to Say to our Students as They Deal with Anxiety:
‘You’re safe. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.’ (This isn’t about changing anything. It’s about offering warmth, safety and comfort the best way you can)
‘Whatever you do now will be absolutely fine with me.’ (Validating their response will empower them to move through the feeling in their own way, and at their own pace.--this might not work in the classroom, but helping them transition to other supports--counselor, administrators, social worker, nurse, etc. may give them an opportunity to move through their feelings)
‘Do whatever you need to do. Even if it’s nothing.’ (See above if another setting is needed)
‘Let’s go for a walk and see if we can find your strong breaths.’ (Physical activity is the natural end to the fight or flight response (which is where the physical feelings of an anxiety attack come from). Walking will help to burn the adrenalin and neurochemicals that have surged the body to prepare it for flight or fight, and which are causing the physical symptoms --racy heart, feeling sick, sweaty, short breaths, dry mouth, trembly or tense in the limbs etc--see above if help needed to make this option possible)
‘Your brain is thinking that it needs to protect you. Breathe – I’ll do it with you. It will let your brain know that you’ve got this, and that you’re okay. It just needs to know that you’re safe and then it will settle down.' Anxiety is from a fight or flight response, triggered when the amygdala in the brain perceives threat. It doesn’t matter whether the threat is real or not – the brain thinks it is and acts as though its true, fueling the body to respond. Breathing triggers the relaxation response which, like the fight or flight response, is also hardwired into all of us. Breathing can be almost impossible to access in the midst of an anxiety attack, so it’s important for them to practice strong breaths (in for three, hold for one, out for three, hold for one) each day when they’re calm, with the trigger words that work for them, so it’s easier to access when they need it. Try this possibility:
Invite them to imagine they have a cup of hot chocolate, and to breathe in the heady chocolatey smell for three, hold it for one, then blow it cool for three.
What to Say Once They are Calm:
- ‘I know how I feel when I feel anxious or worried about things, but I’d really like to understand what your worry feels like for you. Can you teach me?’ With opportunities to increase self-awareness --to tell what the worry feels like or even draw a picture of the worry--comes an increased ability to manage the feeling when it happens, and less likelihood that the anxiety will hijack their behavior.
- ‘You don’t have to do this by yourself. Is there something I can do to help you feel less alone? Is it best if I say something? Nothing? Hold your hand? Touch your back? Give you space?’
- ‘If you saw someone going through what you went through, what would you say to comfort them?’
- ‘I’m here to listen to you if you like to talk about it? There’s absolutely nothing you can say that would be the wrong thing.’
- ‘Brains change. They’re pretty amazing like that. You won’t always feel like this. Every time you breathe through your anxious feeling, you’re helping to change and strengthen your brain. You’re doing something pretty amazing and the more you do it, the better you’ll get.’ Anything that ever happens to you will always go through the feelings part of your brain first. That’s the way it is for everyone. Then, the information travels to the thinking part which helps you make good decisions and work out the best way to behave. Taking deep breaths is a great way to help your feeling side of your brain calm down so the thinking side of your brain can make choices to help you.
Possible Accommodations for our Students Stuggling with Anxiety
Some of My Favorite Tips...("The first is not to take any student behavior personally. The student isn’t trying to manipulate or torture the teacher, his behavior is reflecting something going on internally.")
2. "A break paired with a cognitive distraction does offer respite from the “all or nothing” thinking that’s so common with anxious students. An older student might take a break and record herself reading a book out loud for a younger student with dyslexia. It’s impossible to read out loud and think another thought. Other distractions could include sports trivia, sudoku or crossword puzzles. Little kids might do a Where’s Waldo or look through a Highlight magazine for the hidden picture."
3." Counting down doesn’t support a high achieving anxious child who feels she must finish. And it takes a lot of executive function skills and cognitive flexibility to fight the urge to keep going after the time is up. So instead of counting down, a teacher might walk over to that student and say, let’s find a good stopping point. She may stop a minute later than the rest of the class when she reaches the designated point, but it won’t escalate into a tug-of-war."
4. "For a student who has a difficult time with transitions, give them an in-between step to make the transition more palatable. Go from recess, to two minutes of coloring, to the spelling quiz. The intermediary step gives that non-compliant student behavioral momentum. He’s already sitting down, quiet, with pen in hand, so the jump to spelling isn’t as jarring."
5. "Try randomly being kind to the child, rather than only giving positive attention based on his or her behavior. This kind of non-contingent reinforcement helps the child to see the teacher likes him for who he is, not because he does math well or reads perfectly." For two minutes each day, for two weeks, talk with the student about anything they wish to share with you.
6. "In areas where the difficult student is competent, give her a leadership role. Maybe let her take a younger child to the nurse or start an activity club. This helps change the child’s perception of herself and also her relationship to the teacher."
Susan Hager
Benson Elementary
Email: susanhager@johnston.k12.nc.us
Location: 2040 Hwy 50, Benson, NC, United States
Phone: 919-894-4233