Week 24: Second chances
Whores don't get them
Jk, the Red Wings won't even make the playoffs ;p
Lines of the Night
Tuesday: NeonDion PewpMachine: 5g, 3a, +2, 30pim, 2ppp, 31sog, 25fw, 11hit, 5blk, 3.34gaa, 42sv, .894sv%
Wednesday: NeonDion PewpMachine: 1g, 3a, +3, 21sog, 34fw, 7hit, 1blk
Thursday: SHARPNADO: 1g, 5a, -4, 2pim, 1ppp, 21sog, 39fw, 24hit, 9blk, 2.53gaa, 34sv, .872sv%
Friday: Hot Ice Beast: 6g, 9a, +11, 26pim, 19sog, 32fw, 16hit, 4blk
Saturday: Hot Ice Beast: 6g, 3a, +8, 4pim, 27sog, 40fw, 11hit, 9blk, 2.00gaa, 46sv, .920sv%
Sunday: Hot Ice Beast: 1g, 1a, -2, 2ppp, 11sog, 14fw, 6hit, 7blk
Week 24 Matchups
Is it that time of April again already?? (NeonDion 8, ELBOWS 4):
Anyway, starting Monday it was clear that Pete was up to no good, and started makin' trouble in my neighborhood. Phaneuf got in one little fight and my team got scared, and said "we're moving to the 3rd place game with Austin, also fuck you". My idiot players apparently didn't want to produce, so I got in my dinghy and paddled down the streams out to Lake Hatton. It was there that I found myself on the wrong end of the fishing pole for not one, but two shutout games. This doesn't include my Anderson add, which did seem to work out....until he let in 7 goals. Real cool.
**CLASSIC PROGRAM ALERT**
Hartnell - 0pim
Simmonds - 0pim
Couture - 1 goal
Fish-faced Taylor fucking Hall decided to explode with 2g, 7a, and hey look, it's Dan Boyle - he came out of his 30 game scoreless cave to score on the Elbows. Good for him..good for him.
Well, whatever the fuck ever. Pete has won the battle, and shown that this time... bush > box. But the war is not over....and I will never EVAR stop. I will now banish myself to the 3rd place game, and let Pete do his thing against the up and coming Saksimal. I'll come back for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Ender to Austin: "You are a bomb." (Beast 9, NADOs 3):
Ben Bishop was the undoing of Austin's goalie stats on Saturday, as it gave Saksen the GAA and SV% edge. Why Austin would choose Bishop vs the Stars over Schneider vs pretty much anyone (?) is anyone's guess. All I know is that the Stars have a tendency to light goalies the fuck up. Especially big dumb ones like Bishop.
I don't know what stupid ass Bloomberg app** was telling Mike to roster Roman Josi and Patric Hornqvist for more than three days, but good for him for having the balls to keep them. And of course they're the ones that light up the Sharks.
Saksen can now indulge in the Pete Shenkin Experience for a week. I hope you like memes Mike.
Week 24 Awards
Golden Boner: Hot Ice Beast
Waiver Wire Wizard: Hot Ice Beast, NeonDion PewpMachine
Waiver Wire Troll: THAT IS NOT AN ELBOW
Desk Pop: Hot Ice Beast
Let's just hurry the fuck and get this over with,
**seriously, which Bloomberg app?