Ethan and Tom's Survival Guide
Welcome to the apocalypse ladies and gentleman.
How To Survive the Wasteland
Hello there reader, if you're here reading this guide, then you're in trouble and are in need of help. If it is knowledge you seek, then follow these simple steps, and you will walk out of high school a bloody champion. Fail to heed the advice of this guide, then you will perish into the wastelands of failure.
Step 1 of survival
Never lend any of your things to anybody!
Step 2 of survival
Procrastinating is a terrible mistake! The authors have experienced this first hand.
Step 3 of survival
Always have headphones!
Step 4 of Survival
Don't get lunch detention! Lunch with Coach Isom isn't the best thing in the world.
Step 5 of Survival
Never trust Christopher Parks!
Step 6 of Survival
If you don't like a class evacuate from it immediately or else you will be be stuck in there forever!
Step 7 of Survival
Do not upset Mrs. Haygood!
Step 8 of Survival
The extra credit should not be optional!
Step 9 of Survival
Never walk in the middle of the hallway!
A letter from the authors
We hope that after reading this, students looking for help on how to survive high school will find what they are in search for, and through all of the long nights of studying and sleep deprivation, they will emerge as successful adults ready for the paved road ahead of them.