Come to the Gulag Resort + Getaway!
(Or we will force and enslave you)
Daily Routine! (Itinerary)
4:45am - At 4:45am we offer a continental, luxurious breakfast of soup or a slice of bread. Enjoy every bite of it because you will not be eating for another 7 hours!
5:00am - 12:00pm - We offer and expect (and I mean EXPECT) you to participate in one of our enjoyable recreation activities such as mining or cutting trees.
12:05pm - Once you have finished your recreational activities (for the time being) enjoy our many different, exotic foods that we have to offer such as soup and bread!
12:25pm till dark - It is time for you to go back to your very enjoyable and non dangerous recreational activities! The recreational activities end when it is dark outside but since so many people enjoy doing them we usually let them run longer than usual.
8:00pm - At 8:00 everyone joins together and stand in a line so we can make sure everybody has returned from their recreational activities! It would be such a tragedy of somebody got lost!
9:00pm - At 9:00 its dinnertime! We serve hot and nutritious soup and bread to everybody.
9:15pm - At 9:15 we send everybody off to bed because usually everyone is so exhausted from the fun day that they had.
4:30am - It is time to do it all over again!! (Hurray!)
- Cutting Trees - If you love the outdoors than this is the job for you! All day, everyday you will cut down tree after tree. You may think this sounds EXTREMELY DANGEROUS but do not worry; we go to extreme measures to make sure every guest who participates in this activity is safe and happy.
- Mining and Manual Construction - Mining and manual construction is the perfect activity for people looking for great exercise! All day you participate in heavy lifting by carrying huge rocks across the Gulags, and an intense cardio workout from mining deep into the depths of the Gulag. By the end of the day I guarantee you will feel like you have a whole new body!
- Trusties - If you wish to pay a little extra you can become a trustie! A trustie has the honor of working in the cafeteria, the bathhouse, or the barbershop. You also get to control when workers get to rest, who gets food, and what person does what recreational activity. It is as if you are working for us! (How lucky!)