Welcome to hell
A.k.a Pency Preparatory School
At Pency we have wonderful dorms to store your little brats away. Your child will room with one of the many phony asshats that attend this fine establishment. This gives the children a chance to connect by bullying each other within a confined space.
Here at Pency Prep we have our curriculum down to a fine point. Our magnificent courses will teach your arrogant little phonies to be so full of themselves they'll spontaneously combust. One of our finest courses is that of oral expression, there your spoiled child will learn to keep their simplistic, unimaginative, one track mentality. Those of whom privileged enough to attend Pency cannot express to you how much they loath our school. The past year has been the best in years, we're even considering taking down our barbed fences used to keep The kids in. We also have the happiest students yet, this past year we broke a school record with only 10 suicides. As you can see your child has the chance receive an education like no other, so sign up soon before all slots are taken. Which won't happen.
We are proud to say we've been turning innocent children into narcissistic, self righteous dumbbells since 1988