Verona Daily Enterprise

Report:Cian Hapgood Price:99p Date:10/05/1553

This Cat Just Lost The Last of his 9 Lives

Families in Mourning Until Beyond Tomorrow Morning

Tragedy struck what is usually known as a serene and subside street in Verona today. It was the Fourth Civil Brawl between two notable and noble families, the Montagues and the Capulets, with two young men being struck down dead. The rivalry between the families over time could not have been more expressed and familiar, but today, each family is in mourning after two valued members, one from each family, were sadly silenced at a young age. Mercutio Montague was provocative towards Tybalt Capulet, forcing Romeo Montague, who had just arrived at the scene, to intervene. However, as he dived into the way of Tybalt's blade, the sword had gone into Mercutio's stomach, killing him instantly in cold-blood. Minutes later, Romeo returned to the crime scene, and vengefully pierced Tybalts chest with his cold blade.

The Killer Kinsman

Witnesses described scenes of patronising verbal exchange between the two casualties, when young Romeo intervened to try to avoid an inconvienience, however, Tybalt and Mercutio drew their blades and antagonised each other, yelling at each other to make the first move. Benvolio Montague, a close ally of Romeo reported that Tybalt had arrived angrily and provoced Mercutio who was so gleeful and happy before his death. Romeo then arrived and tried to break it up before tragedy struck. Tybalt imperatively demanded Romeo to draw his sword, already with his drawn, but according to Benvolio, Romeo said things along the lines of, ''I love you but you may never know the meaning for my love,'' and ''I value your name like I value my own.'' What was he up to? ''He was acting extremely strange, for some bizzare reason, then the cat-like Tybalt pounced on Mercutio with his cat-like legs, but Romeo, my brave kinsman, dived into the heat, and from what I saw, Mercutio was slain under Romeo's armpit. Tybalt then fled and us Montague's met with Mercutio for the last time. Then he died. Minutes later, Tybalt returned, and he and Romeo duelled, insulting each other antagonisingly, but the cat's reactions and reflexes were just to slow for Romeo, and the cat was slain. I could see Romeo mutter something to Tybalt, then he withdrew his blood-stained blade from Tybalt's lifeless red body. My kinsman was psychologically lost, so I told him to escape, because if he were to stay, he would be apprehended and he would face an unwinnable trial.'' Benvolio reported.

I can exclusively reveal that the Capulet's had demanded Romeo's blood, but the Montague's defended their son by convincing the Prince that Romeo had done the Polices work for them.

Police Reply

We can exclusively report that in a statement in the Wake of the murders, the Prince gave his judgement on the situation. He said "And for that offence, immediately we do exile him hence: I have an interest in your hate's proceeding. My blood for your rude brawls meaning that the Prince has issued out banishment to Romeo. Some of you might believe this to be a harsh punishment, as Romeo could have done what the law would have done anyway to Tybalt. In addition to this, if Romeo were to return to Verona, he will be imprisoned for life for murder. If anyone should find Romeo, attempt to restrain him and escort him to the Police building (refer to the Police notice below.)

Wanted Alive!

Romeo Montague is wanted for the Murder of Tybalt Capulet.

If found, escort. to the police headquaters on 666 Olive Road, Verona, Italy, IT4 7TO.

Reward: 20Euro

Extreme heat-wave is set to Rampage Verona for the next week!

Remember your suncream as this hot weather will go on a rampage through Verona until next week. Also drink plenty of water to keep yourselves hydrated!