Black Death Bites!
The God's punishing us? Stars and planets are in line? Jews?
What caused this Horrifying Horrible Disease?
Mrs. Twen Niwan, an astronomer, said that "Mar's Jupiter and Venus has for the first time ever is lining up and is facing Earth, showing that great danger is happening bringing an end to all lives.
An anonymous priest has said that "We are lazy and is always drinking. God has done a good job punishing us and only those good people will survive."
Mr. Schwag Neinner passionately told us that "Those Jews deserved to be die by fire! They were trying to kill us all by putting poison in the public well!"
Do you have it? This Symptoms will Identify!
There are 2 different plagues around about that time. The most common one was the Bubonic Plague. The symptoms, which is in order, are;
Egg-sized lumps will appear under the arms and in the groin
The victims begins to vomit
Patches appeared on the skin, looking like bruises but much darker.
Victim suffered from uncontrollable muscle spasm
If the victim is lucky, the Buboes might explode, releasing black pus. They may survive.
Now the second plague is called the Pneumonic Plague (new-mon-ic). The symptoms of it were: fever, headaches, weakness, shortness of breath, chest pain and coughing out blood. It looks like you would prefer this one but all of the victims have died.
Top 5 Tips to Survive
- Don't touch or go near anyone who has the disease even when they are dead
- Keep smelling good smelling herbs all the time when you are out of your house
- Cover up all your body when you are outside
- Sit inside a sewer because bad air can't reach you
- Pray to God and ask for forgiveness every night before you go to sleep
Free Herbs to Try! Down There!
People who loves the God and pray to them with a passionate heart, thinks that you should whip yourself and ask God for forgiveness and eat vegetables and bread but no meat or fish.
Mr. Stipir Robben, whose body is covered in blood, had said that "God shall give forgiveness to those who deserved it. I am full sure that what I am doing is correct."
Others who thinks that the Black Death is a magical reason had been sitting in sewers with believes that there would be no room for the Black Death's bad smell. They are also drinking their own pee twice a day, hoping they would get it. While the poor are doing this, the richer ones are eating crushed emeralds, selling a high price.
People that thinks they have a scientific reason would wear a Magpie's beak around there neck, open their veins and let a pint of blood pour out, slice the buboes open, kill all cats and dogs in the town and strap shaved chicken butts to their plagues sores.