By Chris Goldman, Kenneth Cole, Nile Hundley, Bo Anderson
There once was a great raffle
The prize was a trip that would baffle
The newly discovered world was a very grand sight
A place so amazing and bright
The destination is Atlantis and the journey will be spectacular
The winners marked there calendars
For they were not going to miss this chance
The winners were a lucky 8
The first was a preacher so great
Also was an Italian and police officer
And a redneck who came along with the stock broker
From the south there was a politician
Also ridding up was a stoner and a Cajun on a mission
All of them gathered to bored the yellow submarine
But first they were greeted by there captain a marine
He told them all would tell a story on the way
To help the time melt away
So they boarded and departed
For the journey they were awarded
There was a police man on this journey
He love giving other people the can
For no one was safe from his gaze
He would give any person a fine to get his raise
He especially despised the teens of his city
For they were rowdy whit lots of energy
While in school he would check there stickers
And if an inspection was over due he would snicker
For he would wait to catch them at fault
And when he did they would halt and lock up like a bank vault
Big and imposing he was but slightly chubby to
For he had a addiction to donuts whit a cold Mountain Dew
He had a ruff past
And a good fellow helped him to last
But it did not seam to soften
His hard heart that's rotten
For he doesn't care about a poor mans problem
As long as he can be awesome
But his company is nice
When he's not pushing people on ice
An Italian was also there
He comes from the New York air
He owns an excellent little cafe
Where he makes the best pizza, bread, and quite the array
He greets all customers with a smile and cheer
Everyone buys something because to them it's clear
This is a hard working man who makes them feel worth there coin
But he does not ask them to his group and join
He has a secret that no one who comes knows
The mafia is his main show
And he is very good at what he does
For know one even hears a buzz of what he does
And he can look you in the eye
Smile and tell you the best of lies
If he had to be put to a choice
He would give a customer to his clan without a voice
And sleep fine the next night and sleep like a baby
But his company was nice and he could maybe
Make you feel like you were amazing
He lives down south in the heart of the Bayou,
where few men have gone, much less me and you.
Where he comes from the way of life is much different,
simpler things and items fill him with the same content.
A thick but short brown beard covered his face,
one that would tickle you if you were to embrace.
His accent was hard to understand,
but it was far from being anything bland.
He loved his seafood almost as much as he loved God,
Epicureans thought his priorities were odd.
His cooking was simply the best,
there wasn't even a slight contest.
He loved to hunt and live off the land,
and could do anything by hand.
His work ethic would leave an impression on you,
but he also graduated from LSU,
The only querk about him is that he's brutally honest,
sharing his opinion on a subject without a moment's rest.
But all in all I think he is a great guy,
plus there isn't anything he can't fry.
He job is too govern the state of Alabama,
but some people would say that he doesn't give a damna.
He made his living in the oil business way back,
yet he still longs for a much bigger stack.
Other than that I'd say he's a godly man,
he does donate his money whenever he can.
His football watching is something he fills with pride,
I hear him constantly shouting Roll Tide.
He wore a suit around almost everywhere,
and pair of dark Aviators to match his hair.
His loud and raspy voice sounded as if he coached football,
when he spoke you could hear it all the way down the hall.
You could say that he is a family man and protecting,
because it seems as if his wife is always expecting.
I feel like he could be really good person,
if he would do just a little bit more for the right reason.
I heard him arguing with the Cajun about some rivalry,
at least he's preoccupied and not BSing to me.
My opinion is he's far from an Anomaly,
after all the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
There once was a child that was rich
Who had a little bit of a twitch
His parents were unfortunately rarely there
And usually he'd be angry and rarely care
He was at school and loved math
But ended up on a dark path
Of deceit, anger, and nothing nice
And had a weird love of rice
For he had built up anger for his folk
Because he was to busy to listen when he spoke
20 years later in a car his parents died
And as for the money he got all sides of the pie
He became a stockbroker who did succeed
Who also had the great ability to lead
He used his power of deception quite many times
In taking people's money down to dimes
He cared only bout himself and nobody else
But he loved to hoard money for only himself
He is now on a business trip to Atlantis the city
To get money from suckers,that's quite a pity
A baptist preacher born of family and poverty
To teach the gospel in such ways as poetry
He knew the bible backward and forward
And could make anybody confident even a coward
He truly beloved there was good in everyone
And worked hard until the day was done
He would do for others before
And would help someone out till his last limb
His character was only as strong as heart
And usually if not always take the dart
He lives every day to be honest and true
But handsome so sometimes attacked by a shrew
He fights temptation and strife everyday
Without the glory of being paid
Traveled the word to spread the word
And his nickname was the bible nerd
He understands those who are against him
But he doesn't discourage or smite them
And now he is going to Atlantis today
To give the word of God and pray
Thin as a stick he was always hungry
Yet on weed is where he spent all his money
His eyes were low and very red
When it came to memory he might as well be dead
But he played a tune very well
He had keen ear for tone I could tell
His voice rang out in perfect pitch
With melodies that could soothe a witch
His dark hair contrasted his eyes of green
For some thought he was a fiend
He constantly denied these accusations.
Claiming these accusers were just hatin
His slim face looked down on others
He had great manners but no father or mother
He could roll a joint in under a minute
If there ever was a smoke trick competition he would surely win it
And he had no interest women just his love Mary Jane
Yet ladies followed him like zombies to a brain
As a whole he was always helping others
He considered all a band of brothers
The redneck lived in the woods
Hunting and fishing if he could
Shooting guns by day drinking at night
It was not uncommon to get in a fight
His beard and hair were both straight and long
And he whistled the tune of his favorite song
A war veteran u would never tell
He sent men's souls to hell
Yet he plowed fields and herded cattle
He'd been in more than a few battle
Does ur brain resist to rattle??
He's up the creek without a paddle
He loved one woman and she loved him back
They never had children as a matter of fact
But that must have been god's will
And that was just fine with them still
He worked hard and they had fun
And cleaned up the could both stun
But he was just hillbilly from the sticks
And nothing was too far from an easy fix
There was boy who loved to go hunting with his dad. He grew up hunting with his dad his entire life and nothing brought him more joy. He loved trying to catch bigger game than his his dad to try to prove himself to him. He had never gotten anything bigger than a young buck, and he was looking to change that. By now the boy is around the age of 13 and is starting to get a better grasp on the world. Yet he still wants to catch a bigger buck than his father to earn his fathers respect.
It was on a Saturday morning, their typical weekly hunting time. The sun hadn't come up yet and it was a cold and rainy morning. After they both got settled into their blind they set up and waited. The son was thinking to himself, "what if instead of waiting for nothing to show up again in this same blind, I'll go find a spot deeper into woods". He asked his dad if he could go further in and go looking for game. His dad told him that the best thing to do when hunting for bucks is to sit and wait. But he gave his son permission and told him to be back at sunrise. The son promptly got up and headed out if the blind, eager to impress his dad.
The son had been in these woods before, he knew his way around and was smart about his decisions. He stomped his way through the muddy soil, as the rain dripped down his face and onto his 12 gauge. After a while he came up to a part of the woods that he hadn't been to before. Everything in front of him looked unfamiliar, though he swore he'd been this far in before. He stood still for a moment looking around for any good resting spots. As he glanced down he saw a piece of wood, he reached over and picked it up and chunked it ahead. He heard a loud "thwack" as if the wood hit something that wasn't natural. He took a few steps further and saw a blind, sitting there by a tree just begging to be used. He eagerly hopped inside and blew his Buck call as loud as his lungs allowed.
After waiting for what seemed like forever, he heard a twig snap off in the distance. He whispered it himself "finally". He stared down his sights with an intensity like none other. Sitting there with no noise but the pitter patter of the rain. As soon as he saw a figure in the distance he measured up his shot and fired. But he missed his shot and the Buck sprinted away where it couldn't be seen. Disgusted he set down his gun and stared at the floor. Then his heart almost stopped, when he looked down the wood of the blind was slowly disappearing and him along with it. He threw his gun out the side and mustered up all of his arm strength to get him out what felt like in invisible cement. He fell hard to the ground, reached over and clutched his gun and looked back at the blind. It was back to normal. Except now there was a sign that had "Lamentations 3:25" painted on it in white. After backing up a few more feet he opened up one of his pockets which contained a bible and a cross. He reached in and grabbed the bible and began fumbling through it. Then he found it Lamentations 3:25 it read "The Lord is good to those who wait for him". After reading this out loud he looked up and the blind was gone, without a trace of it ever being there. And on that note he thought it was best to find his way back.
He backtracked through the woods for what seemed like hours. Then he came to the opening where he could see his father and the blind. He sprinted all the way to him and didn't look back. The father laughs as he says "how'd it go son?". The son replied "I think it would be smart if I stayed here and waited, after all that his how you catch bucks". The dad said in a joking voice "looks like you made it just in time" as he pointed to the sunrise.
The Redneck's Story
There was once a tuna that lived deep in the sea. His name was Neptune. He was named after the god of the sea, yet he was smaller than all the other male tuna his age. It was impossible for him to find a suitable mate although he was very fast, faster than a bolt of lightning he could streak through the depths. He was never close to being netted or eaten due to his speed, but many of his friends didn’t have a problem getting away from predators either. So ultimately Neptune was looked at somewhat of an outcast. One day the whole school was famished and hadn’t eaten in weeks, except for Neptune cause he always managed to chase some little fish down and have a snack but they had not come across a large quantity of bait fish in a while and everyone was getting very irritable. They thrashed their tails and bit at one another feeling helpless and frustrated. this is when Neptune spotted a school way off in the distance. The flurry of movement made his mouth chomp in anticipation, he knew though that if he chased them now he would get enough for him and no one else would be fast enough to catch any food for themselves. So he dove deep and fast in their direction and eventually soared from the darkness from the other side of the school of baitfish and they scattered toward Neptune’s school of tuna, and allowed the tuna to take advantage of the chaos and fill their bellies. No one noticed or knew what Neptune had done but himself, but he still felt a great feeling deep within himself to help his fellow tuna.