Portland Report

Reporting daily happenings since 2070

Invalids Among Us

A long time ago there was a woman who had the disease and got several procedures. It didn't work. She ended up dying but her chill still lives on. For years they've expected the child to have the Deleria and we were right. She hasn't had her procedure yet due to a mishap in the labs. She was caught out past curfew with someone of the opposite gender. She is expected to have a procedure in 3 days. Don't be alarmed but be aware

Dear Carolyn Advice Column

Dear Carolyn:

My best friend has been actin weird lately. She found another friend to hang out with and now she's ignoring me. First it was OK with all three of us hanging out together but then she ditched me. She texts me but only when she needs something. I'm just another person to her now. Anyway I don't know if I'm being jealous or if she's really forgetting me.

-Paranoid Best Friend

Dear Paranoid Friend:

To be honest, I don't know if she is ignoring you but what I do know that you need to talk to her. She might be excited about having a new friend, you never know what the problem is. If you talk to her you could save a lot of worrying.


Deleriam Movie Review

Lena (Nina Dobrev) lives in a world where love is a sickness. She's under the influence that the cure keep her safe. Until she meets bad boy, Alex (Tyler Posey). He changes her mind along with help of Hana (Saxon Sharbino), Lena's best Friend. After she lost her love of the cure, Lena felt sympathy for Portland but not enough to stay and help. Alex and Lena come up with a plan to leave Portland. Something goes horribly wrong but you'll have to watch and see.

Help Wanted

We are looking for someone strong to lift boxes. We also need someone who knows how to do really good math. The job you're applying for is assistant manager. If you have any questions call the number below. We look forward to seeing you there.