Liza Lagerstrom


Reasons to Hire Me

Has entire IHOP menu memorized

Ridiculously good looking

Willing to be big or little spoon

Very dedicated (I go to school A LOT)

Good for workplace morale: I'm hilarious and I can do a magic trick

Pretty much a professional at Mario Kart

Personal Attributes

Emits pleasant aroma(s)

Has a really loud, obnoxious (yet somewhat charming) laugh

Alien enthusiast

High score of 224 on Crossy Road


Competitive dog grooming



Collecting swords and cool pieces of lint


Richard Nixon


Baaaarely scraping by in school

Repeated 3rd grade (therefore very experienced with the times tables)

Studied Latin for 7 1/2 years - forgot all of it

Took French 1 and 2. bonjour


My mom

The guy that hangs out in front of CVS

My 2nd grade science teacher

Any girl scout

Things I'll Do to Get This Job

Stare at you for 5 minutes

Spin around until I throw up or you lose interest

Sing "Bohemian Rhapsody" a cappella all the way through

Give you a heartfelt hug

Draw your face on a balloon

Let you flick one of my earlobes a maximum of 7 times

Attempt to moonwalk