The Advice Column

Thomas Keeton

The situation

I have read your column for years, but I never thought I would be writing into you. I've tried going to meetings of "women who love to much'' but i'm still hurting, so I thought maybe you could help me. My problem is that the guy I love doesn't want to be in the same room as me because sometimes I watch through bushes. sometimes he sees me as I look at him.

sincerely Lonely Lover

The Responce

Dear Lonely Lover,

Thank you for writing in to me.I have thought about this situation for a very long time and I think I have something for your problem.

My idea is that if you put the potion in Demetrius's eyes to love Hermia. Put the potion on your eyes to love Lysander. This will help everyone including Eggus because Hermia will like the person that he wants her to like.

The second thing I have for you is the thing you have to do is just forget about him. You may miss him but, the good thing is that you won't have to worry about him. You wont have be with someone who doesn't love or want to be with you.

If you reread this in a few years and either of these have worked you may be thankful.

If this didn't work I am sorry. Did I mention no refunds?

Sincerely Dr. Love