"Game of Thrones Season 3 Episode 1

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There are no straight lines in Westeros. Everything twists and turns at its own deliberative speed. And woe to those unable to adjust accordingly! The titular Game of Thrones tends to devour players who lack the requisite patience to participate far before those who merely lack skill: Noble Ned rushed to speak the truth and quickly lost his head; randy Theon tried to impress his father by conquering first his sister's breastplate then his brother's castle, and in his haste he failed at all three. The most successful characters tend to be those willing to roll with whatever the gods throw at them, like Robb Stark wandering in the woods, missing the Lannisters but finding a wife; or Tyrion, using his minimal brawn, not his outsize brains, to defend the city that somehow wound up in his care.

The same is also true for those of us watching Game of Thrones at home. Twenty hours into this epic, unprecedented endeavor of adaptation and sexposition and we're still closer to the beginning than the end. Characters remain frustratingly separated by oceans, and plot advancement, when it does arrive, tends to do so gradually, like a rash caught at Chez Littlefinger. Seasons progress, unhurriedly, along a complicated track, one originally designed for the expansiveness of print by George R. R. Martin and now cleverly reconstructed for the forgiving budgets of HBO by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. Because their priority is servicing the books, not the casual television fan, watching Game of Thrones can occasionally feel like attempting to piece together a jigsaw puzzle from all four corners simultaneously — and without any idea of what the final image is meant to be.

Case in point: We've seen Daenerys evolve from a pampered princess in exile to a desert-wandering, dragon-commanding warrior queen, capable of incinerating at least one witch per season. And yet, in last night's premiere, Ser Jorah once again moves the goalposts for her development. As the Dothraki dry-heave all around him, he pooh-poohs her potential power-grab: No, he says, she won't have a "true khalasar" until she's able to "prove [her]self strong. And not before." How many still-beating horse hearts does a girl have to devour to be tough, Jorah? The pace of Game of Thrones, like the terrain beyond the wall, can be glacial.