Give Yourself A Good Talking Too

Career Tips from Women's Career Channel Members

There's nothing more fashionable than self-confidence.

We can read all of the right books. We can surround ourselves with positive, upbeat friends. We can wear the best clothes and look great. We can do all of these great things and still sabotage ourselves by the way that we speak to ourselves. I could write a whole book on this subject, but I am going to focus on just three words.

Eliminate These Words

Don’t, not, and no. Eliminating these three small words will make a giant difference in your life. When you use don’t, not or no in your vocabulary you are not only confusing those that you are talking too, but you are confusing your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind always tries to give you what you want, or at least what you say that you want. Try this small exercise; don’t think of a pink elephant! If you are like me your mind will first give you a picture of a pink elephant. This is pretty self-defeating. But mental gymnastics aside let me share with you some real life struggles that I have had with my weight. So many times I would say to myself things like “I don’t want to eat cake” in order to lose weight. What happened with me is that it only increased my desire for the wrong foods. The more I said that I didn’t want something, the more I felt inside me that I had to have it. Sometimes I was able to overcome these urges with will power, and sometimes I was unsuccessful.

Say What You Want

Talking to you is much like talking to others. The clearer that you make your wishes known the more likely that you are to have them granted. Would you go to a shoe store in hopes of buying dress shoes by saying, “I don’t want tennis shoes”. I think that you would find it difficult to get the shoes that you really want that way. Here is how it works when talking to you. Instead of saying “I don’t want cake”, Say, “I would like to eat fresh fruit”. The more you say things that will have a positive effect on your life, the more likely you are to have them.

It works

This seemingly small change has worked for me. But it did not happen overnight. Remember you have been conditioned for years to include don’t, not or no in your vocabulary. I still catch myself using these words occasionally though I use them less and less. The more you practice using language without these words the more it becomes natural for you to say exactly what you do want. If this works for you, or if you are struggling with this let me know by posting below. I would love to hear from you.

About the Author

Kevin Hawkins is an analyst at Progressive Insurance and an avid runner runner, participating in as many as 48 competitive races in a year! Some of his interests are self improvement. He has read nearly 100 books on the subject! Kevin is also the President of one of Progressive's Toastmasters clubs and is engaged in public speaking. Connect with Kevin and other Progressive team members by joining Progressive's Talent Community on Women's Career Channel.