Urgent: Historical Occurrence!
Never-Before-Seen-Event!
Birthday Registers on the Richter Scale
Citizens report Dodie Kasper's birthday has set off Richter scales all over the globe. While the Richter scale is typically only a measurement of earthquake magnitude, it is believed that the size of Kasper's monumental birthday has triggered some sort of geological event of unparalleled proportions. If her birthday is affecting local traffic, telephone or electrical service, or causing atmospheric weather events to unfold in some freaky, futuristic scene from a really bad 4th-of-July-release-date-action-genre-film...then shelter in place until she blows out all 50 candles!
Stranded holiday travelers wish they had wished Dodie a Happy Birthday.
(P.S. I actually took this picture myself in Greece. Nice, right?)
Fossils discovered that pre-date Dodie's birthday
(Actually from Jamestown, VA, which just barely predates you. :P)
Mid-Air Refueling of Fighter Jets scrambling to eliminate the threat of so many burning candles in one place
(OK, so this was Jon's plane when he was in the AF. "NKAWTG...")