Importance Volume 1 Flyer 1

A news flyer for the common man

Importance is a newspaper made from 100% recycled digital materials. Importance is also the most "reliable" newsflyer that you may have ever known, seen, or thought about other than the one that you are looking at now, which is Importance. Importance is almost as "reliable" as the newspaper called The Onion.

Breaking News

Gym Socks Season

This annual "Socksmas" 50% off sale has been good for sales for, but they still are losing money. As you can see below (see below) has been losing money, not like in earlier years (see below). "I thought this Socksmas sale was going to be like the others!" says founder and manager of, Jim. "Losing money is NOT good for business." He was right about that. They are thinking about not making a Socksmas sale next year.

Feb 12, 2013 Report by: Peter Arnold


Come rent Batman from us! We're the best!*


*Rent-a-Batman is the only Batman rental service around.

**Rent-a-Batman is not liable for collateral by any of Batman's villains.


Volume I, Flyer I, Importance Page 2

Yahoo Makes Smartphone OS

Yes, you heard it, Yahoo is making a smartphone operating system. Code named, "Albert", Yahoo is making this to rival Android, iOS, and Windows. "Many people will start to choose Yahoo OS," says head OS tech geek. "Yahoo OS changes to your searches. For example, if you search video games mostly, Yahoo OS will change parts of your phone, and download games." Yahoo will make the first set of phones $230.

Jan 30, 2013 Report by: Peter Arnold

Is Rickroll Real?: A scientific investigation

Some may say rickrolls are just to be annoying, to think something was actually real. Now we go to some scientists for advice. "I think it is just a conspiracy made by the government to keep you away from the, how do you say, 'secret stuff'", says scientist Jim Schmidt from MEME Inc. "Or it could've been popularized from some guy who just wanted to be annoying to his friend, but we're relying on the conspiracy thing." Conspiracy or not, we will never know.

Feb 22, 2013 Report by: Richard Rolle

Contact Us

We would like to hear your opinion! If you have a story to tell us (me), tell us (me) that too!

DISCLAIMER: <--- He's not Tebow-ing