Autobiography- Max Elfenbein

Period 5

My Name

My name is Max Elfenbein. That ridiculous sounding last name came from my dad’s german family. Elfenbein means “elephant ivory” in german. Elfenbein is too long, too hard to spell, and too hard to pronounce. Every new teacher pronounces it wrong, but hopefully that’ll be easier for my brother since I came through the grade first. The most common mispronunciation of my name is Elfenbean. From that mispronunciation I get the nickname Bean Bean or Bean. I love my nickname. Don’t get me wrong, Max is a fine name but I like being Bean because that name is just different and goofy and I feel that it matches the way I act.

The first name Max comes from my great grandfather, Max Elfenbein. My dad was very close to his grandfather growing up, his grandparent were his favorite people. My dad named nearly all of his pets Max when he was growing up. Cats, Dogs, Fish all named Max. I guess I’m just another one of my dad’s pets. Just kidding. He named me after the greatest man he knew not a mutt. I’m also very close with my grandfather like my dad was with his. We even do some activities together that my dad did with his grandfather like playing golf and going to baseball games. I think that the relationship between a boy and his grandfather is very important. My pop pop is my best friend. I have spent lots of time with him just like my dad and his grandfather.

My name is just Max, not shortened from Maxwell or Maximillion. Just Max. Short and sweet, easy to pronounce, contrasts from my last name like a giraffe to a jelly fish. Also I like that smooth “x” sound at the end. For a long time when my brother was little, he couldn’t make that “x” sound. To him I was just “Ma”. Then one day he finally made that “x” sound and for the rest of the day all that would come out of his mouth was “Maxxxx”. When I reached middle school there were 3 Max’s in my grade so it could get confusing for teachers and friends at times. I am good friends with one of the other Max’s and that is another reason my friends call me Bean, so they don’t get me mixed up with other Max.

I don’t have a middle name. My parents have never had an explanation for this, just they didn’t feel a middle name was necessary. I have mixed feelings about the missing name. On one hand its weird to not have a middle name, but on the other hand, it has the potential for me to make it something awesome without really changing the name my parents gave me from one thing to another. Some possible middle name choices for me would be Hurricane, Power, or Le’Veon. Max Power would be a pretty cool middle name.

My Birthday

When is your birthday? January 5th, 2000

Find your age in days with this Age Calculator. 5385 days

Can you find out what the moon looked like on the day you were born? Insert an image.

New moon

Can you find out what the weather was like on the day you were born?

There was a snow storm a couple days before my birthday.

List at least five famous people who share their birthday with you. What are they famous for?

Bradley Cooper- Actor

Marilyn Manson- Singer

De'Anthony Thomas- Football player

Hayao Miyazaki- Director

January Jones- Actress

List at least ten things that happened throughout time on this day in history .

Jackie Robinson retired (1957)

Nazis are founded (1919)

Construction on Golden State Bridge begins (1933)

Earthquake in Peru (1974)

Oil spill on the coast of the Shetland Islands (1993)

X-rays discovered (1896)

Nixon orders space shuttle program (1972)

Largest dwarf planet in solar system discovered (2005)

Warmest temperature ever recorded in Antartica at 59 degrees (1974)

The Daily Mail becomes the first transoceanic newspaper (1944)

Find out how much these things cost:

a postage stamp 33¢

a luxury car $40,000-$50,000

an economy car about $15,000

a four bedroom house in Media $120,000

a gallon of milk $3

going to the movies $5.39

Who was President?

Bill Clinton

What was the must have toy?

Razor Scooter

What movies came out?

How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Gladiator, Scary Movie, X-men

Who were the biggest movie stars?

Tom Hanks, George Clooney, and Russell Crowe,

Most popular TV shows?

CSI, Malcolm in the Middle, Big Brother, and Survivor


Smooth by Santana, What A Girl Wants by Christina Aguilera, and I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden


Super Bowl- St Louis Rams defeat Tennessee Titans

NBA finals- Los Angeles Lakers defeat Indiana Pacers

World Series- New York Yankees defeat New York Mets

Stanley Cup- New Jersey Devils defeat Dallas Stars

What were the fashion trends?

Futuristic looking women's clothes (shiny, metallic, technological)

In My Family's Storage Trunk

Up in the dusty, old, overstuffed attic of my nearly 100 year old house there rests an ancient brown bag on top of a pile of junk. Considering how much junk is up in my attic its pretty amazing that I could find that bag. The initials on the bag are M.M.F for Max Fightlin, my great-grandfather, the man I was named after. My dad tells me that this was his grandfather's travel bag, and it was given to him after his grandfather passed away. The bag dates back 70 or more years to the 1930s-40s when everyone used leather bags. This bag traveled everywhere with my great-grandfather from over night trips locally to big road/train trips all over the country. While this bag doesn't have much signifigance it's still nice to have for my dad to remember his grandfather, who was one of his favorite people he ever knew.

Now in the much cleaner, less jumbled, space of my dad's room there is a very old baseball in a plastic case. The baseball is yellow and spotted from age and has a slightly faded signature on it. The signature reads Babe Ruth, the greatest baseball player of all time. My dad's great-uncle got this autograph in the 1930s and eventually it got passed down to my dad. The spots on the ball are from people touching it, which mostly came from my dad and his brother playing catch with it. They thought it was cool to play catch with a ball that Babe Ruth touched, I think it was stupid. The ball isn't in great condition but it could still be worth $1000 or more. It doesn't matter how much it's worth, we will never sell it. This baseball signifies how much our family loves the sport and Babe Ruth. People doubt that he was the best player ever but we never do. Our family has been to his birthplace in Baltimore (the city where my dad was born also), read books about him, watched movies about him, and have seen his plaque at the baseball hall of fame in Cooperstown. Everyone on both sides of our family loves baseball, and it is one of the few sports we can all watch together happily.

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Personal Adjective Alphabet

A is for Aggravated because I'm easily annoyed

B is for Brilliant because I am the smartest

C is for Caucasian because I'm white

D is for Demanding because I expect a lot from myself

E is for Educated because I always show up for school

F is for Frank because I'm brutally honest

G is for Grouchy because some days just aren't good ones

H is for Hundred Percent because that is my goal on every test

I is for Imperfect because no one is perfect, even though I'm pretty close

J is for Jocose because I like to joke

K is for Klutzy because I am somewhat awkward

L is for Lanky because I am tall and thin

M is for Messy because my room is a mess

N is for Nearsighted because I need glasses

O is for Observant because I see what's going on

P is for Pessimistic becuase I don't think everything is always going to work out

Q is for Quick-witted because I'm fast to make a joke

R is for Reliable because I am loyal to friends

S is for Sleepy because I'm never fully awake in the morning

T is for Thin because I am skiny

U is for Underweight (see thin)

V is for Versatile because I can do many different things

W is for Wonderful because I am fantastic

X is for Xylophone because I don't know any other words that start with X

Y is for Young because I'm only 15

Z is for Zesty because sometimes I can be energetic

And The Band Plays On

What is the role of music in your life? I like to listen to music a lot but I wouldn't say it is a huge part of my life.

What genres of music do you listen? Do you listen to specific genres for specific purposes or at specific times? I like rap music and old hip hop/rap music. I'm not big on listening to music based on mood. I listen to 80s/90s hip hop and rap every time I'm in the car with my dad like DMC, Beastie Boys and De La Soul. I like old rap music because the beats are fun and the lyrics stay on one theme better than newer rap music.

Make a list of bands/singers/groups that you love.

Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Jay-Z, Dre, Run-DMC, Kanye West (2010 and earlier), J Cole, Drake, Nas, N.W.A, Obie Trice, 50 Cent

Make a list of songs that you love.

Murder to Excellence, Still Dre, All Me, In Da Club, Stan, NY State of Mind, My Adidas, Power Trip, Gold Digger, Snitch, Gin and Juice, Straight Outta Compton, Big Pimpin

Do you have any songs that have stories connected to them? For example, the song “Yellow” by Coldplay is special to me because it was playing on the radio when I was driving in the car on the way to the hospital when my daughter was born. Yellow turned out to be her favorite color.

The song Fack by Eminem because it's extremely explicit and the first time my parents let me get an Eminem album my mom told me I had to delete that one but then as soon as me and my dad got in the car he told me to put it on and we listened to it and it was hilarious.

Choose one piece of music as your personal theme song. Copy the lyrics (if there are lyrics) give the title, and the artist. A somewhat appropriate song I would use as my theme song is Big Pimpin by Jay Z



Uhh, uh uh uh

It's big pimpin baby..

It's big pimpin, spendin G's

Feel me.. uh-huh uhh, uh-huh..

Ge-ge-geyeah, geyeah

Ge-ge-geyeah, geyeah..

You know I - thug em, .... em, love em, leave em

Cause I don't ..... need em

Take em out the hood, keep em lookin good

But I don't ..... feed em

First time they fuss I'm breezin

Talkin bout, "What's the reasons?"

I'm a pimp in every sense of the word, ......

Better trust than believe em

In the cut where I keep em

til I need a nut, til I need to beat the guts

Then it's, beep beep and I'm pickin em up

Let em play with the ..... in the truck

Many chicks wanna put Jigga fist in cuffs

Divorce him and split his bucks

Just because you got good head, I'ma break bread

so you can be livin it up? Sh.. I..

parts with nothin, y'all be frontin

Me give my heart to a woman?

Not for nothin, never happen

I'll be forever mackin

Heart cold as a**assins, I got no passion

I got no patience

And I hate waitin..

Hoe get yo' a** in

And let's RI-I-I-I-I-IDE.. check em out now

RI-I-I-I-I-IDE, yeah

And let's RI-I-I-I-I-IDE.. check em out now

RI-I-I-I-I-IDE, yeah

Chorus One: Jay-Z

We doin.. big pimpin, we spendin G's

Check em out now

Big pimpin, on B.L.A.D.'s

We doin.. big pimpin up in N.Y.C.

It's just that Jigga Man, Pimp C, and B-U-N B

Yo yo yo.. big pimpin, spendin G's

We doin - big pimpin, on B.L.A.D.'s

We doin.. big pimpin up in N.Y.C.

It's just that Jigga Man, Pimp C, and B-U-N B

[Bun B]

n**** it's the - big Southern rap impresario

Comin straight up out the black bar-rio

Makes a mill' up off a sorry hoe

Then sit back and peep my sce-nawr-e-oh

Oops, my bad, that's my scenario

No I can't .... a scary hoe

Now every time, every place, everywhere we go

Hoes start pointin - they say, "There he go!"

Now these mother.... know we carry mo' heat than a little bit

We don't pull it out over little sh..

And if you catch a lick when I spit, then it won't be a little hit

Go read a book you illiterate son of a ..... and step up yo' vocab

Don't be surprised if yo' hoe stab out with me

and you see us comin down on yo' slab

Livin ghetto-fabulous, so mad, you just can't take it

But n**** if you hatin I

then you wait while I get yo' b**** butt-naked, just break it

You gotta pay like you weigh wet wit two pairs of clothes on

Now get yo' a** to the back as I'm flyin to the track

Timbaland let me spit my pro's on

Pump it up in the pro-zone

That's the track that we breakin these hoes on

Ain't the track that we flow's on

But when sh.. get hot, then the glock start poppin like ozone

We keep hoes crunk like Trigger-man

Fo' real it don't get no bigger man

Don't trip, let's flip, gettin throwed on the flip

Gettin blowed with the motherf***in Jigga Man, fool

Chorus Two: Bun B

We be.. big pimpin, spendin G's

We be.. big pimpin, on B.L.A.D.'s

We be.. big pimpin down in P.A.T.

It's just that Jigga Man, Pimp C, and B-U-N B

Cause we be.. big pimpin, spendin G's

And we be.. big pimpin, on B.L.A.D.'s

Cause we be.. big pimpin in P.A.T.

It's just that Jigga Man, Pimp C, and B-U-N B.. n....

[Pimp C]

Uhh.. smokin out, throwin up, keepin lean up in my cup

All my car got leather and wood, in my hood we call it buck

Everybody wanna ball, holla at broads at the mall

If he up, watch him fall, n**** I can't .... witch'all

If I wasn't rappin baby, I would still be ridin Mercedes

Chromin shinin sippin daily, no rest until whitey pay me

Uhhh, now what y'all know bout them Texas boys

Comin down in candied toys, smokin weed and talkin noise

Chorus Two

คำภีร์ คำนึงถึงบ้าน 02 - โยโกฮาม่า. Lyrics 50.92 Technoir Nightmare Lyrics


Explain why you like the song.

I like the beat of the song and the rhymes.

Explain how the song represents you. Which character traits or personal qualities does it reflect? How? The trait this song shows is self confidence because in the song Hov is talking about how he runs New York and about how big he is.

Which lyrics are most meaningful? Why

We be.. big pimpin, spendin G's

We be.. big pimpin, on B.L.A.D.'s

We be.. big pimpin down in P.A.T.

It's just that Jigga Man, Pimp C, and B-U-N B

Because all the acronyms and nicknames are referencing people in the song, or status symbols which are both big parts of rap.

Ekphrasis- Piet Mondrain

Red, yellow, blue, green

But what does it all mean

Anger, sadnesses, jealous, fear

Shouting, cursing, moaning, tears

The meaning is up to you

It could be emotional or just colorful too

Maybe you like it because your favorite color is blue

It can be meaningful for you, no matter who

It'll change to match your mind right on cue

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In Other Words

"Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence."

Vince Lombardi

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."

Jimmy Dean

"Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success."

Swami Sivananda

"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."

Aristotle Onassis

"The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have."

Vince Lombardi

"I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.' "

Muhammad Ali

"With self-discipline most anything is possible."

Theodore Roosevelt

"Don't let the fear of striking out hold you back."

Babe Ruth

"From a small seed a mighty trunk may grow."


"What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible."

Theodore Roethke


List of Lessons Learned the Hard Way:

Don't lie

Don't curse

Don't touch things you know are hot

Don't do anything your friends tell you to do

Study for Mr. Samilenko's tests

Do homework

Don't screw with Mike

Don't screw with Sam either

Don't do homework at the last minute

The two topics I will expand upon are both school related. The first lesson is to study for Mr. Samilenko's tests. I first learned this one when I missed a few days of school but still didn't study for the chemisty exam and got a 54%, leading to my first C for a marking period. I didn't really learn the lesson the first time, but after a couple D's on science tests, I have started to study before science tests. Let's hope it works, I don't want a C for the year. The other school related lesson that I keep learning over and over is not to leave school work to the last minute. I still struggle with doing homework, and some times even do homework on the day it's due but the time I really realized I needed to start doing my homework was with reading logs. I had completely forgotten about them and ended up having to stay in to do them on a Friday night an hour before they were due. That was the lowest I could go with homework, and since then I have been doing a little better. I think I learn more lessons the hard way, but I have to stop making the same mistakes multiple times.


My friends I hang out with the most are Alex Boudazin, Matt Dougherty, and Will Thomas. I met Alex when I was little because he was my neighbor, but then he moved across Media and we didn't become close friends until middle school. I met Matt through sports, and the first team I played for with him was Penncrest ice hockey in 5th grade. I first met Will in 6th grade and at first I thought he was really annoying but then after being around him more I realized he was funny and fun to hang out with. We hang out at my house a lot before or after we go out and we play video games or listen to music together. Another one of our favorite things to do is to go get wings or pizza at around midnight at Pinnochio's. Hanging out is always a good time, because we have a lot of laughs. We're friends because we all like to have fun, laugh, and do stupid things.