Breaking News!

Our pony riding filipino boy is actually a GOAT!

You heard it here first, folks!

Yes, that's right. Our little (hot) boy is actually a goat. Garrett, age 16, lives in Texas. He's become quite well know for getting himself into awkward situations and going through an "emo phase" when he was younger (though it never really ended. We can hear you listening to Marina and the Diamonds. Plus, you still keep in your tongue piercing. You can't fool us) and he easily gets all the girls (and some guys) with his gorgeous eyes, sun kissed skin, and charming personality. But let's get to the point.

Garrett is a goat. It all makes sense now- the long, wavy black hair. The strange obsession to being whipped with a belt. Keeping his face hidden from online friends. Working at a barn and having a tight bond with the horses.

He was heard bleating at his school one day during lunch. He claims that he was just joking around and making weird noises- that it made his throat hurt- but we know the truth. Whether he's a satyr or just a plain old goat, we aren't sure yet. He's been brought into scientific labs to be experimented on, and we will soon have an answer. Stay tuned and keep reading.