Positive Panther
January 2020- Family Edition
The Positive Panther Project & 7 Mindsets for Success
Each month the district has set topics to be covered that will help your student to reflect on how they interact with their peers, family and our community. We encourage you to have conversations with your son or daughter on these topics and to reinforce the importance of these skills at home.
You will receive this newsletter each month. It contains an overview of the lessons provide to your son or daughter on our designated "Panther Day". This is the first Wednesday of each month. When you receive this newsletter, they will have already covered these topics so you can begin discussing them at home.
January- We Are Connected
1- Lead with Value
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." -John Quincy Adams
Have you experienced a lollipop moment?
Sometimes a complete stranger or acquaintance can have a big impact on us. From helping our day run smooth, to giving us a pep talk, to providing a new prospective on a challenge we may face, these small moments can have a big impact on our lives.
Can you think of a "lollipop moment" you have experienced? Share that experience with your teen and talk about how our presence and attitude towards those around us can help a positive impact.
Developing Leadership Skills as a Teen
Traits that develop and display leadership:
- Self Confidence- Provide positive feedback as your teen takes on more independent roles and responsibilities. Reinforce that life is always a learning experience and if we learn from new experiences and see that everyone makes mistakes, we help them develop a sense of comfort that they will be supported to learn and grow.
- Real world experiences- Encourage your teen to volunteer, get a part-time job, join a community or school organization or anything else that will give them experience with the broader world or community. Teens need to see that they are just a small part of the community but can make a big impact when the intentionally get involved.
- Build Communication Skills- Being a leader if often more about how we communicate with others. Have conversations with your teen about real life situations, current affairs, your job/career and anything else that helps them learn to put their opinions and knowledge into words and express themselves.
2- Embrace Everyone
Opportunities for Family Discussion
- How does this ball pit make it easier for people to connect?
- Why do we fear taking a chance, meeting new people, and making friends?
- How do these people embody the idea of embracing everyone, just by entering the ball pit?
- Many people in the ball pit share very personal details about their lives. How do their partners show them kindness, acceptance, and caring?
- What are some good strategies for meeting new people?
3- Maximize Positive Relationships
Tips for Communicating with Your Teen During These Tricky Years.
The teenage years have a lot in common with the terrible twos. During both stages our kids are doing exciting new things, but they’re also pushing boundaries (and buttons) and throwing tantrums. The major developmental task facing both age groups is also the same: kids must pull away from parents and begin to assert their own independence. No wonder they sometimes act as if they think they’re the center of the universe.
This makes for complicated parenting, especially because teens are beginning to make decisions about things that that have real consequence, like school and friends and driving, not to speak of substance use and sex. But they aren’t good at regulating their emotions yet, so teens are prone to taking risks and making impulsive decisions.
This means that having a healthy and trusting parent-child relationship during the teenage years is more important than ever. Staying close isn’t easy, though. Teens often aren’t very gracious when they are rejecting what they perceive to be parental interference. While they’re an open book to their friends, who they talk to constantly via text messages and social media, they might become mute when mom asks about their day. A request that seemed reasonable to dad may be received as a grievous outrage.
If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath and remind yourself that your child is going through his terrible teens. It is a phase that will pass, and your job as parent is still vitally important, only the role may have changed slightly. Here are some tips for navigating the new terrain:
1. Listen. If you are curious about what’s going on in your teen’s life, asking direct questions might not be as effective as simply sitting back and listening. Kids are more likely to be open with their parents if they don’t feel pressured to share information. Remember even an offhand comment about something that happened during the day is her way of reaching out, and you’re likely to hear more if you stay open and interested — but not prying.
2. Validate their feelings. It is often our tendency to try to solve problems for our kids, or downplay their disappointments. But saying something like “She wasn’t right for you anyway” after a romantic disappointment can feel dismissive. Instead, show kids that you understand and empathize by reflecting the comment back: “Wow, that does sound difficult.”
3. Show trust. Teens want to be taken seriously, especially by their parents. Look for ways to show that you trust your teen. Asking him for a favor shows that you rely on him. Volunteering a privilege shows that you think he can handle it. Letting your kid know you have faith in him will boost his confidence and make him more likely to rise to the occasion.
4. Don’t be a dictator. You still get to set the rules, but be ready to explain them. While pushing the boundaries is natural for teenagers, hearing your thoughtful explanation about why parties on school nights aren’t allowed will make the rule seem more reasonable.
5. Give praise. Parents tend to praise children more when they are younger, but adolescents need the self-esteem boost just as much. Teenagers might act like they’re too cool to care about what their parents think, but the truth is they still want your approval. Also looking for opportunities to be positive and encouraging is good for the relationship, especially when it is feeling strained.
6. Control your emotions. It’s easy for your temper to flare when your teen is being rude, but don't respond in kind. Remember that you’re the adult and he is less able to control his emotions or think logically when he’s upset. Count to ten or take some deep breaths before responding. If you’re both too upset to talk, hit pause until you’ve had a chance to calm down.
7. Do things together. Talking isn’t the only way to communicate, and during these years it’s great if you can spend time doing things you both enjoy, whether it’s cooking or hiking or going to the movies, without talking about anything personal. It’s important for kids to know that they can be in proximity to you, and share positive experiences, without having to worry that you will pop intrusive questions or call them on the carpet for something.
8. Share regular meals. Sitting down to eat a meal together as a family is another great way to stay close. Dinner conversations give every member of the family a chance to check in and talk casually about sports or television or politics. Kids who feel comfortable talking to parents about everyday things are likely to be more open when harder things come up, too. One rule: no phones allowed.
9. Be observant. It’s normal for kids to go through some changes as they mature, but pay attention if you notice changes to her mood, behavior, energy level, or appetite. Likewise, take note if he stops wanting to do things that used to make him happy, or if you notice him isolating himself. If you see a change in your teen’s daily ability to function, ask her about it and be supportive (without being judgmental). She may need your help and it could be a sign she needs to talk to a mental health professional.
CLICK HERE for the article online
4- Build Your Dream Team
Who's On Your Dream Team?
- If you could pick 3 people that you know of (friend, relative, historical person, celebrity, etc) to be on your dream team in life, who would you pick?
- What skills, characteristics, or traits do these people have that would help you in life?
Top 5 Do's and Don'ts at Home
2) Don’t spend time talking about others negatively. It’s better to focus on the positive things that people bring into our lives rather than on the negative experiences others may create. Keep in mind that “energy flows where attention goes” when discussing and focusing our energy on others. By directing attention to the wonderful things others do, we draw positivity inward, and teach our children how to seek the good in relationships with others.
3) Do look for ways to connect with other people. By celebrating life with friends and family and spending time going places with others and connecting, children learn the importance of these relationships. Realize that you are a role model for how to deal with others, and know that they’ll continually look to you for guidance.
4) Don’t discourage them from making new friends. Sometimes our children pick friends we might not be excited about, but it’s important to talk with them about their relationships with others and find value in these connections. Talk through values and what’s most important when building relationships with others.
5) Do find ways to give back and lead with value in the community. Serving others teaches us a lot about ourselves and the importance of cooperation. You never know who might be the next person to help you through something, help you get a new job, or assist you with something else, so it’s always a good idea to put yourself out there and help others first. It is much easier to receive help when others know you’re willing to do the same for them.