A Bunburying Guide

by Wylie Morton

What is Bunburying? Why would someone do it?

What Bunburying is a term for the phrase "leading a double-life". For example, in Oscar Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest" a man named Jack Worthing who lives in the country says that his brother Ernest from the city is in trouble, but when he gets to London, he pretends his name is Ernest and acts differently. That is Bunburying. Why someone would want to Bunbury, those reasons are various. The most common reason is to have multiple wives or husbands, to just leave a place, or to let a side of themselves out.

How does one do it?

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Good methods

These methods are for concealment:

-Have separate phones and phone numbers for each identity.

-Have the dual identities' have very different personalities, so no one suspects.

-Dress differently when changing identities. Fake facial hair would really help, though if you use that, make sure the real you shaves.

These methods are for ease:

-Share the secret with one person, so you don't have to lie to everyone.

-Don't get too deep in either identity, such as involving the law. Eventually, you WILL be found out.

These methods are for staying on track:

-Have a very good memory. You need to remember what one identity says and does and what another doesn't.

-Write things down so you don't make a mistake such as scheduling two things on the same date.

What problems could a Bunburyist face? How can they be avoided?

Problem:A health problem that involves the hospital could be a major issue, especially trying to explain it to friends from different sides of you. Visitors could cause troubles to.

Remedy: Have the 1 person who knows bail you out. Check in as your real self without your disguise and don't allow visitors.

P: You lose something very important, like your schedule.

R: Before you leave a place, make sure you have everything.

P: A pet may recognize you even after you changed via smell.

R: Don't get involved with pets. If you do, mask your scent with lots of cologne or bad smells.

P: You may wear something for the wrong person or your disguise is damaged.

R: Double-check yourself before you see them. The one who knows could also help with that. Fix your disguise if necessary.

P: You may forget something.

R: Write things down! (Duh!)

P: You may get caught changing.

R: Lock the door.

Conclusion

That's how you Bunbury, reader. Now, just to be clear, Bunburying is completely optional. It is not wholeheartedly recommended, although if you want to live an interesting life full of risks, this is the activity for you! Now go and lie to those that you love!